Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom (AndWhimsy)
Posted on February 5, 2025 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with one comment
All The Money (ATM)
WARNING. Cranky old senior’s rant.
“What we’ve got here, is a failure to communicate.”
From “Cool Hand Luke” – 1967
I am a patient man… until I’m not.
I have long prided myself in “keeping my powder dry.” I generally react well in stressful situations unless it has something to do with a computer malfunction and then I want to stand on the tallest building and toss it out the window. I’m pretty good at going with the flow. I rarely lose my temper. I am equanimity personified… until I’m not.
Client service.
Surely many of you old-timers remember a time when businesses giving good service was a given. All transactions were face to face. In all likelihood, you knew the person on the other side of the counter. Our local grocery stores at the time like the IGA and the Co-op had friendly staff who would go out of their way to make your shopping experience pleasant.
Oxymoron. Noun. A figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction. Example. Client service in 2025. Heavy emphasis on the second syllable.
I tried to place a call to a bank last week. Let that sink in. Have you tried calling a bank lately?
“We’re Making Banking Easier.”
Fake news. False advertising. Sorry. Banking was easier when we could call our local financial institution, have a live human answer the phone and have our question answered within minutes. I tried calling a bank last week to make an inquiry. In the time it took to get to speak to an actual “client service representative” (there’s that damn old oxymoron again), I could have walked back and forth across Spain a few times. It’s bad enough to have to wait an eternity to get to speak to someone going through the litany of options. “If you are running out of patience, please press 6”.
I propose a new tagline for this bank: “Making Cranking Easier.”
I tried repeatedly to give the CSR my name. I spelled it out in agonizing detail. “How can I help you, Raymond”? What we have here is failure to communicate.
“You’re Richer Than You Think.”
Excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor, suffering from a fit of hysterics.
I wonder if the folks in their ivory towers on Bay Street have spoken to anyone in the middle class lately as we sink further and further into the abyss. The gap between the rich and the poor widens daily and with the new tariffs in place, that should drive down the prices of groceries, fuel and household goods. That’s not a typo. It’s sarcasm in disguise.
New tagline: “You’re Poorer Than You Can Possibly Imagine.”
Here’s another dandy.
“Let’s Make Someday Happen.”
Sadly, this will not happen until long after we have “slipped the surly bonds of earth”.
“Ambitions Made Real.”
You get the picture. I’m not a big fan of slogans and taglines. (I watched Mad Men and quite liked it). These platitudes are meant to obfuscate and keep us scratching our heads. Instead of paying ad agencies to come up with clever come-ons, why don’t the billionaires who run these enterprises take some of their massive profits and re-invest in client service. Being able to call your local financial institution and speaking immediately with a human being would be an excellent starting place.
Banks are not the only offenders.
Have you tried to get a hold of an airline lately? The only thing worse is having a migraine, a toothache and kidney stones simultaneously. I spent most of last weekend trying to book a flight. I had both a credit and a promo from two different trips and needed to speak to a live human being. What made the waiting time (“Your estimated waiting time is 3 months”) even worse was their choice of muzak. I thought I would go mad listening to interminable loops of the worst music imaginable. Of course, there is a method to their madness. They really don’t want to talk to you and want you to hang up. Which is precisely what I did.
Ah! That feels much better getting this off my chest.
“You’re Richer Than You Think.”
Don’t bank on it.
Have a great weekend.
