Posted on August 21, 2013 under Storytelling with one comment

Is there any better place than the beach to spend a warm summer afternoon with your granddaughter? I don’t think so either!

I bet you can remember your first driving lesson. Anyone who grew up on a farm got a head start and was probably driving a tractor long before they were able to get their beginners license. I am going to post a story tomorrow about my own experience learning how to drive. As you know, I am prone to embellishment by times, but this story is all fact and no fiction. It is called “Baby You Can Drive My Car”. There are a few “touchy” parts in the story that I hope won’t unduly offend but sometimes ya just have to say it like it is. I didn’t get in too much trouble for using the word “arsehole” in a previous story.

There’s another story that I’m threatening to post but I would be taking more risks. It’s called “Getting it Right”. Somehow, men have a penchant for being wrong almost all of the time when it comes down to a debate with their spouses. I tackle this age old problem head on and may get slapped silly for publishing it. But I say, “what the hell”.

I saw the mock up for the fundraising poster today and kudos to Marilyn Milner for her efforts in putting this piece together. We are getting several inquiries for tickets which will go on sale soon.

See you bright and early tomorrow morning.

Posted on August 20, 2013 under Storytelling with 2 comments

Several times over the years I have resisted the urge to get a ring – an ear ring, that is.  I don’t think that a nose ring would look too good on an old bald guy and a nipple ring is definitely out, now that I no longer prance around the beach topless.  What is this infatuation with jewelry, especially rings?

The other day, friends were visiting us from Cape Breton.  Paul was regaling us with a story of a lost university graduation ring: his mother’s.  Our university, St. Francis Xavier, has a very distinct and unique ring, the “X” ring.  No matter where you travel in the world, it is instantly recognizable.  Paul’s mother graduated from X over 60 years ago and after her death, as the eldest in the family, he inherited her ring.  He took it to a jeweller, had it re-sized and promptly lost it.  It was recovered several days later in the sugar bowl.   His wife marched him down to the jewelry store to have it re-resized.

Lost X rings have shown up in more unlikely places than this.  Occasionally, alcohol is involved.

Wedding rings are an entirely different matter.  Some people are so enamored with them that they replace them, sometimes twice or more.  At a recent cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”  The other replied, “Yes I am.  I married the wrong man.”  At the same party, a man was overheard saying, “I married Miss Right.  I just didn’t know that her first name was Always.”   These folks were likely married to each other.

I happen to own exactly two pieces of jewelry: a wedding band and an X ring.  And while I am proud of each one in totally different ways, I have a confession to make.  I never wear them. It isn’t because I am not proud of my alma mater.   Neither is it because I am no longer smitten with my wife of 31 years.  No. it’s because the rings irritate my finger.

Once or twice a year, usually at Homecoming at the University or some other extra special event, I go to the jewelry box (not mine) and grab the clunky piece of gold with the year 1973 emblazoned on the side.  I slide it onto my finger and within two hours, the telltale red rash makes its grand entrance and by days end, I am literally tearing the ring off.

The wedding band is slightly different and I will choose my words very carefully here.  I never wear it.  For some reason, it is particularly aggravating.  The moment it touches the surface of my finger, my skin recoils in horror.  It seems like the ring has a traumatizing effect, despite the fact that I have been married to the same woman for 31 years.  That is, until she reads this.

So, go ahead, Charley Pride and sing your heart out. “Does my ring hurt your finger when you go out at night?”

Posted on August 19, 2013 under Monday Morning Musings with one comment

This has to be one of the greatest summers ever, weather wise. I’m not a big Facebook user but whenever I scan down the page, it seems like just about everybody is having fun. I have never seen so many wedding photos, barbeques, firepits, camp scenes, soccer games , swimming pools and pictures of the ocean, in my life. Did I mention drinking pictures? Most of us should be incredibly grateful for where we live and what we have and should never take this for granted.

The story “An Old Romance” was a big hit. I got more comments on this story than any to date and it sounds like most of you had a good chuckle. On second thought I could have titled the story “Lookin’ For Love in all the Wrong Places”. This is the first time ever that I re-edited a story that Betty had already edited… just a few words here and there. ( I chose leafy green vegetables over marijuana ) Good thing I won’t be running for office ever again! One of these days, I will show you my grad photo from X and everything will make sense.

My reputation as a feminist leaning male will come crashing to earth with the publication of my story ” Does This Ring Hurt Your Finger”. This is a story about rings and why I can’t ( and won’t ) wear any jewelry… not even the precious X ring ( blasphemy, you say ). You will be just as likely to find me in a jewelry store as in the lingerie section of a woman’s clothing store. NOT.

Do you collect Air Miles? Check out another new story coming soon called ” Don’t Drink and Fly”

I will have a story in this week’s Casket and also in the Highland Heart publication.

Posters for the fundraiser on September 26th. will be going up any day now and tickets will be available at Brendan’s, Brosha’s short Stoppe and The Tall and Small. After my promo last week, I had some inquiries so I have a feeling we’re going to have a sell out. Get your tickets early. Gather up a crew, sit in the front row and heckle me. I dare you. You might find yourself the subject of one of my stories.

Hope you have a great week. Make a point of saying something nice to someone today.