Posted on December 31, 2013 under Storytelling with 2 comments

Is there anything more confounding to a man than a woman’s purse?  While I have never been accused of being urbane (i.e. sophisticated and debonair), I do have the audacity to carry a “man bag”.  A Michique unique, you might ask?  I don’t think so.  And what do I carry in my blue satchel?  A writing pad and a pen in case I get inspiration for a story.  I am usually toting a few files, maybe a book or two, and a bunch of keys.  And on the days when I can’t make it home for lunch, I will pack a sandwich.  Pretty basic stuff.

When I contemplate the great mysteries of our time, I wonder about the possibility of life on Mars.  And how do they get the caramel in a caramel bar?  But the greatest mystery involves the contents of a woman’s purse.

Just the other day, I was doing an appointment with one of my colleagues at our office in Port Hawkesbury.  You can see the parking lot from our office window.  We were expecting a couple to show up.  The wife exited the car carrying a purse that was truly enormous.  When I asked my buddy about the whereabouts of her husband, he surmised that he may have been in the purse.

I haven’t done a thorough investigation on the subject, but if “clothes make the man”, what can we say about purses?  Do purses reflect the personality of their owner?

Who holds the purse strings in your house?  I get an allowance for good behaviour but, every so often, I run out of cash and need to negotiate a low interest loan from my wife.  If she is busy when I make the request, I often hear these words: “Just go get the money from my wallet.  It’s in my purse.”

If Superman fears Kryptonite, then a man’s worst fear is putting his hand in a woman’s purse.  I might take my luck with a grain auger before driving my hand deep into the unknown bowels of a handbag.   What in god’s name do they carry in there anyways?   The contents of my carry-on luggage for a three week vacation could be held in one large purse.

If you thought finding your way through maze was tricky, try finding a wallet inside a woman’s purse.  It’s like a trip through the Everglades, looking for alligators at every bend in the river.  In every nook and cranny there lurk sinister looking objects.  And when you finally locate the wallet, you’ve only solved part of the riddle.  The wallets have many secret chambers.  I believe that The Beatles song, “Magical Mystery Tour’” was inspired when John went poking around in Yoko’s handbag.

The next time I run low on cash, I think I’ll just go to the shed and gather up the recyclables and head to the enviro-depot.  I understand empty wine bottles and beer cans.

A woman’s purse leaves me dazed and confused.

Posted on December 30, 2013 under Monday Morning Musings with no comments yet

Happy New Year

It has been quite a year for Week 45. We have been writing a regular column for two weekly papers, have been keeping an active website, have done a few public speaking gigs, one significant charity event and the publication of a book. This is not meant to be self congratulatory. Unless there are people reading the material then it is all for naught. So let me express my deep gratitude for all of you who have stayed connected over the past twelve months. Whether it is a “like” on Facebook,  an e-mail or just a passing comment on the street, you are responsible for keeping me motivated.

So what’s in the offing for 2014? I have three major goals for the year ahead. I plan to do volume 2 of “Living and Laughing.” That one is the easiest now that I have one under my belt. A few days ago, I stated a longer term goal of creating a fund that would provide a hot meal for those who need it on a weekly basis. There is a lot of work to be done before this can be achieved but I have always felt that writing down a goal gives a person the motivation to carry it out.

I am also having preliminary discussions with a few friends about trying a “Stuart Mclean” type of show, possibly as early as the Spring. Tentatively, I am calling it “The Week45 Express.” It would be a live show featuring some story telling interspersed with music by local talent. Please feel free to weigh in with any comments.

And of course, I will continue to write stories inspired by everyday events.

Live well. Laugh often. Love Much.

Len

Posted on December 28, 2013 under Storytelling with one comment

“Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair.”

1968 Musical “Hair”

It has become increasingly difficult to figure out the landscape these days if you are in business. That goes for big business and small businesses.  How does one get and keep customers when loyalty has all but disappeared?  With the onslaught of technology and the accompanying on-line shopping phenomenon, businesses have to be very creative to have their voices heard above the din.

That includes the barbershop.

I was in getting my Christmas trim the other day and, as usual, there was lots of banter.  One thing about my barbershop is that it hasn’t changed all that much over the years.  And I like that.  I think the four chairs that face the large mirrors have been around for 75 or more years, dating back to the days of Henry J. and Tom.  Hair clippers have remained virtually unchanged and they’re still playing CJFX as background music.  The only thing missing is “The Old Timer.”

There’s something very comfortable and reassuring about this place when everything else seems to have changed, and not always for the best.

But barbers are a shrewd lot and they watch the aging population like everyone else and know that they must build a farm team of new customers.  With this in mind, they have come up with a novel rewards program: Hair Miles.

It seems that just about everyone you bump into has some kind of rewards card.  And we are a society that is fascinated with travel.  Put the two together and you get people consuming goods and services at a staggering rate.  It won’t be long before the shop starts to hang posters of places like Cuba and the Dominican on their walls as a subtle enticement.

So, how will Hair Miles work, you might ask?  Pretty simple, actually.  The barbershop plans to install a small weigh scale, and at the completion of your haircut, they will simply sweep up the hairs lying on the ground, bag them and weigh them.  You will insert your Hair Miles card in a machine and, voila!  You have become a collector and hopefully a repeat customer.  The “Wealthy Barber” reincarnated.

The theory behind this makes perfect sense but only if you have been blessed with a full head of hair.  Back in the day when I had an afro, I would have piled up the miles, but these days, there is not a lot of grass growing on top.

I am trying to visualize this before I sign a membership application.  I decide to test my theory and wait patiently for my haircut to end so that I can examine the evidence at my feet.

Despondency sets in as I see a few gray tufts floating around the floor.  There is not enough there to make a home for a self-respecting mouse.  I try to imagine the weigh scale trying to calculate the incalculable.  I realize that I am not a good candidate for the program.

At the rate that I would collect Hair Miles, I probably wouldn’t have enough to make it off of Main Street.