Posted on December 17, 2013 under News & Updates with no comments yet

Please ignore it.

Posted on December 17, 2013 under Storytelling with one comment

There are very few things that will get a man’s heart aflutter.  Maybe a new sports car or a Harley?  A road trip with the boys or an all you can eat buffet?  The list is pretty short.  Once you reach a certain age, there’s not much that impresses a guy any more.

Except a new large screen, smart television.

Most men I know are sports fanatics, and there is no greater joy than going to the man cave with a cold beer and a bag of perfectly salted potato chips to watch the latest game or sporting event.

With this in mind, a friend’s  bride of thirty some years decided to surprise her husband with a brand new, 54” flat screen TV, an early Christmas present so that he could watch the World Junior Hockey tournament on Boxing Day.  You don’t just take the TV out of the box and mount it on the wall in a few minutes.  If you are handy and have tools, it can take the better part of a morning.   And if you really want to go the extra mile, you can hire a competent techie to come to your home to make sure the hi-def settings and color are perfect.

He was obviously thrilled when she presented him with this gift two weeks before Christmas.  Knowing full well the delicate scales of justice in a marriage, he wondered what this was going to cost him in the days to come.  No request from his wife would seem unreasonable.

It just so happened that the day the television was installed was the same day that the Montreal Canadiens and Toronto Maple Leafs were playing.

His wife also noticed in the program listings for that day that there was a Victoria’s Secret Christmas Special to be aired at the same time as the hockey game.  She was mildly interested in seeing the newest line of lingerie.

He arrived home from a long day at work.  He gobbled down his supper and bounded down the stairs, heading for the remote control.  She hadn’t seen him move this quickly since he crossed the floor at the Parish Centre in 1969 to ask her to dance.  She happened to mention that there was a program that she might like to watch.  It barely registered.

Within minutes she could hear the telltale sounds of the hockey broadcast blasting through the rec room.  She stood at the top of the stairs and peered down at her husband.  It seemed a bit odd as his head seemed to be moving from side to side, something like you see at a tennis match with spectators following the ball from one side of the court to the other.  He had a silly grin on his face.

Her curiosity piqued, she decided to check it out.

A wizard with gadgets, he had figured out one of the options on the Smart TV very quickly: the split screen.  He watched the fast paced action of the game all the while keeping his eyes transfixed on the new line of lacy bras and underwear.

He pondered his good fortune and thought that should he die at this very moment, he would die with no regrets.  Then his wife snuggled down beside him to happily watch her show … the end to a perfect evening.

 

Posted on December 16, 2013 under Monday Morning Musings with 3 comments

 WHAT IS IT?

If you guessed correctly you are a genius. Congratulations. Go to the front of the line. It is a Christmas tree lot. Duncan’s to be precise. We made our annual trek to Brendan’s yesterday in anticipation of the storm. We wanted to get the tree early in the day. This is what we found when we walked into the lot. It was obvious that Duncan was anticipating the storm as well and decided  to pile all of his trees under giant tarps, covered with old bed frames and tires. We managed to extricate one from the pile and dutifully went inside Brendan’s to pay for it. This is certainly story material. I thought we had procured Christmas trees in every conceivable manner. Who says there are no more surprises in life.

I have a great story about the annual Hillcrest Street Boxing Day street hockey game. We’ve been playing this game for well over 40 years. Everybody plays. Young boys and girls, septegenarians and everyone in between. Do you remember the hard orange plastic ball that we used to play with? And do you remember what it felt like to get a slapshot in a certain body part? No surprise that we eventually came to our senses and started using tennis balls. A fond look at Boxing Day traditions coming soon.

I got the idea for another story from our great friend, Facebook. I don’t want to spoil the story line but I will give you the title so that you can start imagining the plot. It’s called ” Pucks and Panties.” It’s hard to believe that both of these items could form the nucleus of a story but such is my twisted sense of humour.

As you know, from time to time, I like to shine a spotlight on businesses past and present. I plan to do one on the old Brigadoon restaurant sometime in the new year. But for now, I’m working on a story about the Antigonish 5 to $1.00. I have been there the last two Saturdays signing books and have had the opportunity to chat with hundreds of people. How has a general merchandise store survived so long in the face of all the challenges in retail? Those of us who patronize the store know exactly why.

Please shop local. It is so easy to shop out of town or on line but if this trend continues, small local businesses will not survive. And if this happens, who will sponsor all of the sports teams and the 1001 charities that come looking for donations and merchandise every day of the year?

The feedback to the new website continues to be very favorable. We are still working out a few kinks but in short order, it will be “business as usual.” If you are not getting your regular updates, please re-enter your e-mail on any of my website pages.

From the “10 habits of optimists”…. SMILE MORE. FROWN LESS.

Have a great week.