Posted on February 6, 2014 under Thursday Tidbits with one comment

False advertising with the cover picture? Perhaps, but better than a picture of the most recent snowfall.

Let’s start with the Senior’s Café held yesterday at People’s Place library. Despite the gloomy weather forecast, more than 40 brave  souls showed up to listen to Phil and I go on about romance, wine and snow blowers. The organizers said it was the biggest turnout they’ve had to date. Must have been that ad I posted on Facebook offering free booze. We had a thoroughly delightful time. The audience enjoyed tea, coffee and sweets while we did our thing. If you are a senior, you might want to check this out some time. The library is an amazing place. They have lots of interesting things going on there all the time.

My apologies to my loyal readers who showed up at the Senior’s Café to listen to three of my stories that they had already heard. I will make a mental note to add “fresh road kill” the next time I do a public performance. However, having said this, when I went to hear Paul McCartney the first time, I wanted to hear him sing “Hey Jude.”

I took a trip to Truro yesterday to see a doctor at a pain clinic. What a great guy. We talked about MRI’s and his bad experience having one. I told him I wrote a story about my experience. It’s called “Brain Wave” . It’s on page 89 of my book.

At the social media class I’m taking, the instructor starts every class with a trivia game. I must admit that I suck at trivia. I am not a movie buff and my knowledge of history and science is appalling. After our trivia game, I happened to mention in passing that I was a participant in Reach For The Top back around 1969-70. Those of a certain age will remember this show which pitted school against school in a trivia type game. The other three people on our team were brilliant. One of them went on to become a world renowned physicist. Three out of four ain’t bad. I was added to the team for my knowledge of sports and music. I won’t spoil the story. But it’s title should give you a clue. It’s called “Reach For The Bottom” and will be coming soon at Week45.

Admit it. At some point in your life, you lived in a dive, most likely as a student or when you got heaved out of the house by your parents and told to “go find yourself.” I was thinking about the place that I lived in Victoria, B.C. back in the ’70’s. We affectionately called it “The Bongo Pad” and I will be writing a story about this experience soon. You can simply change the names and locations and make it your story.

I have a number of other stories in the cue so stay tuned.

Here’s a great quote from one of the articles I read for my social media course. I think you can apply it to just about anything…unless you are retired, lying on a beach somewhere. It’s about taking yourself out of your normal comfort zone.

” You have to go where you don’t feel comfortable and embrace the discomfort and learn new ways of thinking. And there is nothing comfortable about that.” Steve Buttry.

Have a great weekend.

Posted on February 5, 2014 under Storytelling with no comments yet

 

 

“Cupid draw back your bow and let your arrow go, straight to my lover’s heart for me …”

Cupid, a song by Sam Cooke

Cupid has been messing with our heads for a very long time, especially when it comes to men.  My first brush with romance (one of many failures in this arena) was in elementary school when we handed out paper cut out Valentines.  If you gave one out to every girl in the class, the odds were stacked in your favor that one of them might return the favor and even smile at you.  How little we knew about the ways of women.

Valentine’s Day can become a very expensive proposition during the dating years.  How do you impress a girl when you are in a constant state of poverty?  A card alone, asking her to be your Valentine, simply won’t cut it.  You may scramble up enough cash to take her out for a pizza and a movie when you’re a teenager, but in the ensuing years it becomes much costlier as the jewelry store now vies for your attention … and hers.

And then you get married.  It is expected that you will do some fine dining, along with flowers and possibly chocolate.  That is, until the first baby arrives on the scene.

How is it that everything changes when you have a baby?  Any mention of romance is typically greeted with a bemused smile or outright derision, regardless of whether or not it’s Valentine’s Day.  What most women with very young children want is not intimacy with their partner.  No, as a matter of fact, you might just get a whack on the side of the head with an ill-timed comment about this topic.  Listen up men.  What they want most is intimacy … with a pillow, especially if it’s not in the same room with you.  The absolute best gift any man can give a woman is the promise of a good night’s sleep.

So, take it from me, offer to get up during the night to feed the baby.  Caution: this won’t work too well if she’s breast feeding.  Try the “diaper and deliver” method instead.

My wife is reading all of this and going “Who wrote this?”  You see, I have never been accused of being overly romantic, and Valentine’s Day is just another day in my world.  I am not a shopper, so chocolates and jewelry have never been the norm in our household.  As a matter of fact, if I presented flowers and the promise of a meal on Valentine’s Day, she might get very suspicious and wonder if I had a hidden agenda or if I was guilty about some yet unreported transgression.  Or, alternately, she might suffer heart failure at the shock of receiving a gift.

Mike asked his friend Marty whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine’s Day. “Yes”, responded Marty, “I’ve bought her a belt and a bag.”  “That was very kind of you,” added Mike. “I hope she appreciated the thought.”  Marty smiled as he replied, “So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.”

Be careful pulling a stunt like that or you just may be picking one of cupid’s arrows out of your arse.

Posted on February 3, 2014 under Monday Morning Musings with no comments yet

I know that some of you romantic types are already thinking about Valentines Day. So am I , but lest you think that I am the romantic type, my reasons are purely practical. The Fairview Post in Alberta specifically asked me to write a Valentines Day story. And on Valentines Day, Friends of Antigonish Library ( FOAL ) are hosting a dinner theatre. I am on the Board and this is one of our major fundraisers. Maybe you can convince your sweetheart to take you. I am also giving a presentation that same day for the Antigonish Career Resource Center.

I will be posting my Valentines Day story on my website this Wednesday and it will  also appear in The Casket. It is called ” The Heart of the Matter.”

Stumped for a gift? Why not give the gift of laughter and buy her ( him ) a copy of my book. You can get it directly from me and I will inscribe it with “sweet nothings” if you so desire. If you can’t track me down, it is also available at the 5 to $1.00, Brendan’s Fairway, The Plum Tree and Brosha’s Short Stoppe.

How many of you still wear glasses? I thought so. Lots of you still wear them. I am about three steps away from using a big magnifying glass to do the New York Times Saturday crossword puzzle. I have worn glasses since I was five. I tried contacts and had Lasix surgery but my glasses are still my lifelong friend. I thought that a story about glasses might be in order. Why not. If I can write about bras and menopause, glasses seems like a reasonably safe topic. Coming soon: “Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory.”

My journey of discovery continues as I am taking two social media courses. Some of you may have noticed a few Week45 ads popping up from time to time on Facebook. This is an experiment as part of one of my courses. I am very excited about the second course. It is an online course offered by a university in Texas called “Social Media in Journalism.” There are over 1300 participants from 137 countries around the world. The course starts tomorrow but I have been corresponding with classmates already. As the song says ” It’s a Small World After All.”

I am a big fan of lifelong learning.

Unless a ‘Nor Easter comes through, the Len and Phil event is still a go at the People’s Place library this Wednesday at 2:00 p.m. I love working with Phil. He is a gifted wordsmith and I appreciate the thought and care he takes with his stories. So join us. Free BOOZE… no, no. Free boo’s! Can you imagine if they offered free drinks? The library would be overrun and there would be rampant absenteeism at local businesses.

If you were able to get out of bed this morning ( unassisted ), could put your feet on the floor, knew your own name and had breakfast, be very grateful. You have a lot to be thankful for and never take these things for granted.

Have a great week.