Posted on March 10, 2014 under Monday Morning Musings with no comments yet

 

 

Well, how much fun was that?  On Saturday, I innocently put a list of ten favorite albums of all time on Facebook as many others have been doing lately. It is obvious that everyone loves music. As I waded through my Saturday chores, I kept peeking at FB and it was quite amazing to see the feedback. There’s a lot about Facebook that leaves something to be desired, but as a place to carry on a conversation with people near and far, there’s nothing quite like it.

In the middle of all this frenzy, I got busy and wrote a story on this topic called “The Songs We Sang.” I am sure all of us could write a book on this subject. If you’re like me, when I hear the opening notes to an oldie, I am transported back in time. It is amazing how the brain hard wires music so that we can remember places, people and events with absolute clarity.

If you didn’t get to read my post on Saturday, go back and take a look. ( “Nothing to Sneeze at “ ) I received a lot of funny comments .  For me, as a non shopper, getting caught in a store in the middle of a sale, is a version of “hell on earth.” I am not the subject of this story but I could certainly identify with a relative of mine who found herself in SD on OPBD.

There are two other stories still in the lineup. Just about every day of the week, I hear yet another story about someone working in Fort Mac and living here. “Head on Collision” is a story about the struggles couples have with this phenomenon of working away from home. I was not surprised to hear that a divorce lawyer in the area has been especially busy lately with the fallout from this very demanding lifestyle. This is no laughing matter. But my story is.

The other story is about one of my major pet peeves…client service. When was the last time you received poor client service? When was the last time you received excellent client service? Most of the time, client service is a middle of the road proposition. There’s only one thing worse than poor client service and that is no client service. We’ve all had this happen when we were ignored in a store. “The Invisible (Wo) Man” is my take on this subject. Warning: I pull no punches with this story.

I know that this is very early in the game, but I have a hunch that the Week45 Express show coming up on April 24^th. is going to be a sellout. I would suggest that you get your tickets early. If you are not familiar with the work of Frank MacDonald from Inverness, grab a copy of one of his books. My favorite is “A Possible Madness.” He is one of my guests for the show. He is an amazing writer.

I will be heading to Orlando later in the week to give Tiger Woods a few pointers before he heads to Augusta in April for The Masters golf tournament. Don`t be surprised if some of my posts are golf related.

Have a great week.

Posted on March 8, 2014 under Storytelling with one comment

OPBD

 

Admit it.  It’s hard to resist a sale on toilet paper.

We’re always on the lookout for a bargain and will go to great lengths to acquire our just rewards.  Loyalty cards are all the rage these days and just about every large business offers them to attract new customers and keep old ones.  Paying a price for loyalty is not a new concept.

When I was a kid, collecting Nesbitt Orange bottle caps would get you into the movie theatre.  How about IGA stamps?  And if your teeth didn’t rot out in the pursuit, you could collect enough Popsicle sticks to get swag from the Popsicle Pete catalogue.  Gold bond stamps, anyone?  And you thought we were bored back in the ‘60s.

A sale day for a retail outlet is something straight out of Dante’s Inferno.  It is akin to the last day of RRSP season for financial institutions.  Or the deadline for filing income tax returns if you are a tax preparer.  Let’s call it “Hell on Earth”.

They say that it is human nature to seek pleasure and avoid pain.  But sometimes, through bad luck or bad timing, we find ourselves sucked into the vortex of something beyond our control.

Something like Optimum Points Bonus Day (OPBD).  Sounds like some kind of disorder.

The young male clerk, seeking to climb the ladder of success, started on the bottom rung as a trainee.  Talk about baptism by fire.  On only his third day on the job he faced a store-wide sale.  He was nattily attired leaving the house, hardly worth the effort considering he would have to change into store-issued garb before heading out onto the firing line. He even applied a dash of hairspray to keep his wavy blond hair looking just so.

The deal on this particular day was straightforward enough: spend $75 on almost anything in the store and get 18,500 bonus points. Using the Optimum calculator, that amounts to about $25, or the equivalent of a large pizza with the works.

There was the posted “limit of 6 items” clearly advertised on sale racks throughout the store.

A member of my family found herself in the checkout line on OPBD, and ahead of her were two silver haired octogenarians.  There appeared to be some problems brewing between them and the young clerk behind the counter.  They had obviously planned their strategy long before entering the store.  Each had shopping carts filled to overflowing, and even a casual observer could tell that they had exceeded some of the advertised limits.

It only took about five minutes to send the novice clerk into a frenzy.  They were either trying to combine their existing points or attempting to ring in multiple purchases using some form of the Pythagorean Theorem.  Whichever way you cut it, they had a carefully manufactured scam going and they were “playing to win”.

They were an effective duo, each not more than five feet tall, smiling and pleasant the whole time (a tactic learned over four score and seven years). They sucked the life out of the clerk like a pair of malnourished boa constrictors.

Much wheeling and dealing later, the weary (and now limp haired) clerk gave in to their demands.

As the triumphant twosome headed for the exit, the clerk took a tissue from the box of Kleenex under the counter and gave a gentle wave of surrender.

 

 

 

Posted on March 6, 2014 under Thursday Tidbits with no comments yet

One of life’s little pleasures ( treasures )

 

Do you know anyone who has been stricken with a condition known as OPBD?  Now, just in case you are scurrying off to check The New England Journal of Medicine or The Lancet, this particular condition was only coined four days ago…. by me. I’m thinking I will set up a Wikipedia account and claim this as my own.

And what, pray tell, are the symptoms of this rare affliction? You can only get it a couple of times a year. That’s a good thing. You can avoid coming in contact with it if you keep your eyes and ears open. If you happen to find yourself in the middle of it, you can immediately remove yourself from the path of danger.

So, what is OPBD?

Optimum Points Bonus Day at a national pharmacy chain. Peggy, a good friend from Halifax, found herself in the lineup at SD in the middle of a feeding frenzy. She posted a few thoughts on FB and off to the races I went. Thanks, Peggy for the idea and some of the key phrases. Haven’t figured out a suitable title but so far it looks like “Nothing to Sneeze at.”  Kleenex and toilet paper were on sale.

And thanks to another buddy from Halifax, Wendy, I was presented with the opportunity to write a piece on client service, or the lack thereof. Don’t you just love being ignored in a store or a restaurant? “The Invisible (Wo)Man”  takes a major league rip at poor client service.

TICKETS FOR THE FUNDRAISER ARE NOW ON SALE.

I knew that would get your attention. I really believe and hope that this event will be a sellout. In addition to the ticket outlets ( Brendans, Brosha’s Short Stoppe and The Tall and Small ), you can get them from me. There are other groups who will be selling them as well.

I’m getting some great feedback on the story I wrote about Lent: “ I Give Up.” If you haven’t seen it yet, take a look… especially if you were brought up Catholic. And if you weren’t brought up Catholic, still read it and realize how lucky you have been that you haven’t had to give up single malt scotch or chocolates for 40 days and 40 nights.

Have a great weekend.