Posted on November 17, 2014 under Monday Morning Musings with one comment

Florida Book Launch ( click to enlarge )

 

 

As some of you know, I did a book launch last week, while on vacation in Florida. It was at this funky coffee shop ( I’m dating myself with this language! ) and was very well attended. Truth be told, there wasn’t an empty seat. My friends at the resort where we stay, really got in the spirit of things and wore their Halloween costumes to the event. They paraded up Gulf Boulevard, a distance of about a half a kilometer to the  honking of car horns. I did three stories and finished things up with guitar in hand with the Proclaimers tune “I’m going to be ( 500 miles ) “

Now, while I was pleased with the turnout and even with the fact that I sold quite a few books, it was a chance encounter with a woman from St. Louis that really made my day. Earlier that morning while finalizing plans at the coffee shop, I met these two senior citizens who were in for their morning coffee. I invited them to the launch and, lo and behold, they were the first two people to show up. Must have been my offer of free coffee and banana bread,  which I provided to all guests.

One of the women confided in me that her friend’s husband was dying and that she had made arrangements for respite to come for the launch. She sat just off to my right and she spent the entire hour with the biggest smile on her face. She gave me a big hug at the end of the show and told me that I had made her day. This was the highlight of my trip, hands down.

Those of you who have taken long road trips know that there is a McDonald’s restaurant about every half mile. We went to a lot of them to get a coffee and access their wireless internet. Two quick stories. In Northern Florida yesterday we stopped for a coffee. I was itching for a muffin. Here’s how the conversation went: (me) “ Do you have any fresh muffins?” ( young clerk ) “Yes. We have Egg McMuffins. “ (me ). No, I mean a muffin. Would you have any carrot muffins?” She looked puzzled. ( yc ): “We have Egg McMuffins and Sausage McMuffins.” (me) “ Do you know what a muffin is?” She looked around in complete bewilderment. She had no idea what a muffin was.

Yesterday we stopped at a McDonald’s in Virginia. It was very cold out. Having been in the car for 6 hours ( other than gas stops ), we decided to eat outside at one of their outdoor tables to get some fresh air. As we huddled together, an older female staff person poked her head out and said, “ Is he holding you against your will out in the cold?” We all had a good laugh. ( They didn’t have muffins either!. )

I have a good story tomorrow. My two brothers were also visiting in Florida at our resort. They decided to do a road race and I was their chauffeur, coach and cheerleader. Must have worked as both of them won their divisions. Don accomplished something that I’ve never seen in a race before. Coming right up, “The Honeymoon is Over.”

Not sure what happened on Saturday. I posted a story that is new and one of my favorites. I read it at the Florida launch and had people in stitches. Were you all out shovelling snow, or what? If you didn’t read it, go back and take a peek. It’s called “We Do It All For You.” I’m sure you’re aware of the use of the “royal we.” This is a lighthearted story about how husbands and wives interpret the use of “we.”

If the weather cooperates we’ll be home sometime Tuesday.

Hope you have a great week.

Posted on November 15, 2014 under Storytelling with no comments yet

 

“We ” like to go to the Candy kitchen

 

 

“It’s only words, and words are all I have…”

Words – The Bee Gees

Most of the words we use in our lifetime are learned at a very early age.  By the time a child reaches the age of two, he or she understands 200 words.  And then it jumps by leaps and bounds to 1000 words at age three and an astonishing 50,000 words by the age of 12.  The English language, although not as complicated as learning Mandarin, confuses foreigners, with multiple definitions and multiple spellings for the same word.  Here, hear!

Teenagers go through a regressive stage and most conversations are reduced to mono syllabic grunts.  “Where are you going?”  “Out.”  “Who are you going with?”  “Nobody.”   “When will you be home?” “Later.” And of course, everything that comes out of their mouths is prefaced by “like”.

We waltz through life, rarely thinking about vocabulary and its usage.  We take it for granted.  That is, until we enter into a serious relationship and settle down.  Never is the use of language or words more complicated or misunderstood than after becoming a couple.

Take the word “we”.

I took grammar throughout my own schooling and got an extra big dose when I ended up teaching English to several classes of enraptured grades 7 and 8 students.

I dusted off an old grammar book that was given to me by Alice Chelick, a former teaching colleague in Fairview, Alberta.  Just for fun, I looked up the word “we”.

“Pronoun.  1. Used by a speaker to refer to himself or herself and one or more other people considered together.  2. Used in formal contexts for and by a royal person, or by a writer or editor to refer to himself or herself. “

So, what are we, to make of “we?”

It depends who’s talking.

When a woman says to her partner, “We’re going to rake the leaves”, that means that she wants him to do it.  When she says “We’re going to paint the living room”, this means that she will pick out the paint and hire the painter.  She doesn’t trust her spouse to do the job properly.  Why pay twice for the paint when a professional will get it right the first time?

When a man says to his partner, “We should go and visit your mother”, what he really means is that there’s an excellent double header football game later that day that he wants to watch it … uninterrupted.

After being reminded that an appearance at Sunday service once in a while would be appreciated, a man may agree, “Yes, we should probably start going to church more often”.  This means that he desperately wants to go on a golf trip to Myrtle Beach with the boys and will resort to exhortations and even prayer to get there.  And brownie points.

And ladies, be very wary if a man ever utters these words:  “Honey, why don’t we go and do a little shopping.”  You know damn well that he is obviously begging for sexual favors.

When a man says, “What shall we have for dinner tonight?” it means that he is hoping that his partner has already planned, purchased and begun to prepare the meal.  When she comes back with “We could try that new tofu stir fry recipe” it means that they will be dining out.

Of course, Christmas has some special usages for “we”.   When a man says “We went Christmas shopping,” what it really means is that he read the Globe and Mail on a bench outside of The Bay.  Or that his significant other has picked something out for herself and had it gift wrapped.   The man picks it up from the store and nobody is more surprised on Christmas morning when he finally finds out what he has given her.

A couple we know from Ontario was in a restaurant recently.  He called the waiter over and said “We have a situation here.”   His wife had been talking expressively using her hands for effect.   She had knocked over the shot of flaming Sambuca and the table was on fire.

Houston, we have a problem.

Posted on November 12, 2014 under Storytelling with 4 comments

This portrait was drawn by one of Mary’s former students, Bruce MacKinnon

 

 

There is an art explosion in Antigonish.

In a community that’s traditionally sports mad, art and culture are giving the athletes a run for their money. The area is home to several art galleries showcasing up and comers and established artists.  The Antigonish International Film Festival, Antigonight: Art after Dark and Antigonish Art Fair: Art in the Park are examples of the proliferation of artistic expression.

I took art in grade school under the watchful eye of one of the sisters of the Congregation of Notre Dame (the CNDs). As hard as she tried to encourage me, I just wasn’t cut out to be an artist.  My finest creation was a paint-by number special from The Met in the Mall.  The sisters were forever imploring us to pray.  Mother St. Roderick suggested that I pray to one saint in particular: St. Jude.  St. Jude is the patron saint of hopeless cases.  I know now why she put CND on my art work: Can Not Draw.

Like most things in life, it can take a very long time for dreams to become reality. It takes hard work, dedication and vision.  And wisdom.  You don’t become recognized as an artistic hub without solid groundwork being laid.  In Antigonish, we owe a lot of the current success and prominence to a humble ninety-something woman; Mary MacGillivray.

I bumped into Mary recently and we had an animated discussion on a wide range of topics. Mary taught art in the school system for many years.  Not only did she give many budding artists a start, she mentored other art teachers who still speak of her glowingly.

However, it was when young people had a chance to attend art lessons in her home that she had the greatest influence.

Simply put, her basement studio on Hawthorne Street was magical.

We all know what it feels like when we just can’t wait to go somewhere. The sense of anticipation, knowing that we are going to do something we absolutely love, is hard to describe.  Such was Mary’s art room.

It was a well-worn path around the back of the house that hundreds, if not thousands of students trod to meet the smiling face of Mary MacGillivray.

Mary wasn’t patronizing. She treated her students as equals … as adults.  She challenged them.  She could have done the easy things, but didn`t.  She wasn`t afraid to let her charges dabble in some tough mediums like oil.  It was ok if things didn`t turn out right the first time.  Trial and error was not only an accepted methodology; it was part of her creed.  She believed that lurking inside each and every child, was an artist.  They wouldn`t necessarily become famous or do it for a living, but they would gain confidence by learning how to express themselves through their art.

For many, Mary MacGillivray’s art classes provided a safe haven from the noise and confusion that often accompany the teenage years. Her warm, distinctive voice was infused with a faint Celtic lilt.  It welcomed her students and drew them in to the wonders that lay in store.  The hours passed too quickly.

Filled with a sense of accomplishment, they rushed home at supper hour. The evening meal always tasted so good on art afternoons.   How better to end the day than a favorite supper of home-made macaroni and cheese topped with ground crackers, a feast of mother`s own brown beans or fresh out of the oven bread baked by Mrs. J.

Mary’s greatest masterpiece was the art of kindness.

The path to the art room may be overgrown but the fruits of her labour are everywhere to be seen.