Posted on May 14, 2018 under Monday Morning Musings with one comment

William’s Point. A little piece of paradise.

 

Ser-en-dip-i-ty. Noun. The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

It’s hard to imagine to sequence of events and the serendipity involved in me meeting Linda Kennedy. I couldn’t have possibly imagined being in a sex toy shop in Burlington, Ontario helping to pack inventory into boxes. But when you think about it, life is a series of chance encounters. We meet people in the most unexpected places. Sometimes it is the briefest of encounters and you never see those people again. But other times, you meet somebody who is very special and you wonder what put them in your path.

If you haven’t already done so, please go to the “recent post” section of my home page and click on the Faces in the Crowd tab. “How Our Love Lives and Never Dies” is the remarkable saga of Linda and her deceased husband, Bill. Three days after their marriage, Bill had an accident and became a quadriplegic. It is a story of unbelievable, almost super human strength on the part of Linda. And while the tale is tragic in many ways, at its core, it is a love story.

I expect this chance meeting in the oddest of locations will result in many more encounters with Linda as we look at telling the full story in a book. It was interesting reading all of the comments. I think amazement best describes your thoughts. I also feel that most of us realize that our lives could be much worse.

I have been reading Peter Ludlow’s book, “The Canny Scot,” the story of Archbishop James Morrison of Antigonish. It provides some fascinating historical perspectives on Morrison and the Diocese of Antigonish.

Can-ny. Adjective. Having or showing shrewdness and good judgment.

I have been thinking about the canny Scots lately. I do a lot of walking and lately my walks have been taking me around the periphery of Antigonish to places like Back Road Brierly Brook, West River, Beech Hill Road and William’s Point. I think most of us take for granted the place that we call home. But the Scots were indeed canny when they stepped off the Hector. They knew a good place when they saw it.With all the traveling that I’ve done, I have yet to find another place so blessed with beauty and talented people. It is really quite extraordinary that in so many facets of life, Antigonish excels. I will resist the urge to start listing these as it would run several pages.

“Make them laugh. Make them cry. Make them wait.” Charles Dickens.

I remember this quote vividly as it was part of an exam question posed by Rev. Rod “Moonbeam” MacSween in an English class back at St.F.X. in the early 1970’s. He asked us to explain the quote in the context of authors and writers.

I don’t really pay much attention to my writing style. I started out writing strictly humour but now I’m pretty well much all over the map. I have a suspicion that a few of you might have been misty eyed reading Linda Kennedy’s story. I received a nice note from a friend last week who said that her Mondays and Thursday start with a reading of my “musings” and “tidbits.” I am not sure if this is what Dickens meant when he said “Make them wait,” but that’s the spin I’m putting on this quote today. If anything, my stories and musings are unpredictable. Even I don’t have a clue what I’m going to write about most of the time! When you cover topics as diverse as skunks in a grave and packing up sex toys, I guess you can keep your readers wondering what’s coming next.

As long as you keep reading, I’ll keep writing.

Have a great week.

Posted on May 10, 2018 under Faces in the Crowd with 5 comments

Courage

 

“Bill. I love you so, I always will.”

Wedding Bell Blues – Fifth Dimension

“I am a hard worker and a fighter. I love my family more than anything, including my four legged friends.”

Meet Linda Kennedy.

The youngest of three siblings, Linda was born on Hallowe’en Day in London, Ontario. “I’m a treat; not a trick!”  quips Linda. At the age of three, her father was diagnosed with Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT) disease, a group of varied inherited disorders of the peripheral nervous system characterized by progressive loss of muscle tissue and touch sensation across various parts of the body. By the time she was five, her dad had leg braces. It was her first exposure to the world of people with disabilities.

Even at a young age, her caring instinct came to the fore. Her mother always thought that she would have made an excellent nurse. Eventually, her dad ended up in a wheelchair and suffered through cancer, a heart attack and pressure wounds. He accepted his lot in life with grace and dignity.

The family moved to Burlington in 1967.

Linda loved her youth and was a sports enthusiast. After graduating from high school, she attended Sheridan College where she received a diploma in Media Arts. She ended up in television, a world dominated by men at the time. She gained the respect of her peers and management and became the first female master control technician in Canada.

Bill Kennedy was born in Toronto. His family was originally from Newfoundland . He was one of ten children and at the age of 16, left home in search of work. He moved to St. John’s, married young, and had two children. The marriage ended after six years.

Bill was tall, handsome, and very athletic. Through a series of coincidences, he ended up playing on a co-ed baseball team. Linda was a teammate. After the first game, the team went to a bar. Linda thought Bill was “magnificent” but a potential “heart breaker” and not for her. She mistook his shyness for arrogance.

They played on a few different sports teams over the next few years. One night, he asked her to dance at a function. “It clicked right away. We both knew in an instant that we were made for each other.”

They were married on October 23^rd, 1987. With so many people from out of town in for the wedding, they decided to have a family get together in Muskoka. The newlyweds went up a day early before the others arrived. Being baseball enthusiasts, it was not surprising that they watched game 7 of the World Series that evening. Late into the evening, Bill stepped out on the deck for a smoke. Linda heard a thump and thought it might be a raccoon jumping off the roof onto the deck.

She grabbed a flashlight and went outside. A faint vice called out, “Linda. Help me. I broke my neck. I can’t move.” Bill had leaned back on the railing of the deck, slipped, and fell over backwards, landing on his head and crushing his C6 vertebrae. It was later discovered that the railing was 11 inches too low. Even at this darkest of hours, Bill maintained his legendary sense of humour. He looked at Linda and said, “Look out, Rick Hansen. Here I come.”

After a stay in the local hospital, he was airlifted to Sunnybrook in Toronto. Bill’s long and arduous journey had begun. He spent time in the brain/spinal injury unit for a few months before moving to Lyndhurst, a rehabilitation facility. He spent 10 months there and forged lifelong friendships with other patients. Many pranks were played. Laughter was sprinkled with tears but Bill never bemoaned his fate. “Why me? Why not me,” became his mantra. Anyone can become disabled in a heartbeat.

The couple moved into an accessible townhouse and four years later they bought a house. Their home became the focal point for family gatherings and celebrations, the more the merrier, and that included pets. Their motto was, “We welcome all stray pets and people.” Bill’s disability did not stand in the way of a good time.

In order to keep the family going, Linda had to work at two jobs. She was also quickly becoming Bill’s primary caregiver. A dynamo, she had the capacity to survive on very little sleep.

Over the years, the family traveled to many places. Bill’s children from his first marriage were now living with them full time. In 2004, they traveled to P.E.I. to attend his sister’s wedding. The day after the wedding, Bill slipped and fell resulting in a pressure wound. This would be a harbinger of more difficulties ahead. He had surgery to fix the pressure wound and while in hospital, contracted c difficile, a bacterium that can cause symptoms ranging from diarrhea to life threatening inflammation of the colon. He endured three rounds of c diff but he never complained. He was more concerned about Linda’s well- being.

In 2011, Linda stopped working to devote her time caring for Bill. “I did it because I loved him. He needed my love.”

The relationship was not without its struggles but Linda attributes her fortitude and inner strength to both her dad and mom who set the moral compass and showed the family how to deal with adversity. According to Linda, the last ten years of their marriage were their best despite the fact that these ten years also posed the greatest health challenges for Bill and the extended family.

Bill’s pressure wounds continued to be a concern and then he was diagnosed with cancer. He became a type 2 diabetic, suffered a heart attack and had congestive heart failure. His weight plummeted from 240 to 110 pounds. A feeding tube became necessary.

While all this was happening, Linda’s father’s health was in decline and she spent time helping with her dad’s care. Her dad’s disease rendered him a quadriplegic. Linda applauds her mother who set the tone and example in the household: never give up and never give in.

In 2016, Bill’s health worsened and Linda’s dad finally succumbed to his illness. Her brother in law, who she visited with regularly, died of brain cancer. And their beloved dog died that summer.

Bill turned 65 on December 13, 2016 but sadly never got to cash his first company pension cheque in January of 2017. On Christmas Day, 2016, Bill died hugging the one he loved the most.

CMT is a hereditary illness. Linda was diagnosed at the age of 26. The stress of caring for so many for so long took its toll and in 2011, she started noticing that her medical condition was worsening. Having watched her father’s demise, she knows what’s ahead. But Linda is not deterred. She wants to be a change maker and will devote her considerable energy and talents to improving the health care system. “There has to be purpose for the pain.”

Linda’s final word to Bill on Christmas Eve was HOLLAND: How Our Love Lives and Never Dies.

Posted on May 7, 2018 under Monday Morning Musings with 2 comments

 

“Let me tell you ‘bout the birds and the bees, and the flowers and the trees,

And the moon up above, and a thing called love.”

The Birds and The Bees (As sung by Jewel Akens)

“Hi. I’m Linda and I’m sorting dildos.”

I have had some unique introductions in my days but none quite like this one. My recent travels took me to Burlington, Ontario for a few days to visit some friends from university. We had lots of great chats, shared food, and had some walks.

At some point in our lives, we’ve all helped a friend or family member move. While moving can be onerous and stressful, getting together with friends to pack boxes can actually be a lot of fun, especially if you’re not the one on the move. Loading furniture into the back of a moving van is the easy part. But dealing with all the smaller items you have accumulated over the years is the nightmarish part.

So when I was asked by one of my friends to go to a sex toy shop to help the owner pack up her business, what was I to say? (There are so many things that I could have said but I have carefully cultivated many loyal readers over the years so I’ll stifle the urge to be too graphic.)

I have helped business owners do inventory before. Anybody can count chocolate bars, nails and screws, or widgets. We also know what these items are and how they function. But I admit with some sheepishness that there were many (most) objects in the sex toy shop that left me baffled. Oh, who am I kidding; all of the objects left me baffled. Of course, getting the job done quickly and efficiently was the objective so stopping to read labels didn’t seem appropriate although my curiosity often got the best of me. I would be staring at an object with utter disbelief wondering what it was what its function could possibly be.

There were three other people sorting and packing, all women. The owner obviously knew the products she was selling and I was glad that I wasn’t the only one who giggled and guffawed throughout the morning . ( and had a puzzled expression.)  I was interested to learn that the customer base didn’t fit into any identifiable demographic. Even though the store was technically closed, there were still lots of customers coming in to check out marked down items, looking for a last minute deal.

I can’t remember the last time that I laughed so many times in the space of three hours. I even tried on a few items of clothing. If I get 200 likes and 50 shares, I might show you one sample. No. On second thought, that is a really bad idea. My “Volunteer of the Year” award might be revoked immediately and the locks on our apartment door changed upon my return.

I know what you’re wondering. What was the most interesting thing I encountered in the store?

Actually, it wasn’t a “thing” at all. It was a person and possibly one of the most inspiring people I have ever met. Linda (in the dildo sorting department!), is an amazing woman. Three days after her wedding, her husband was in an accident and instantly became a quadriplegic. Their story is remarkable enough but the other adversities she has faced in her life left me nearly speechless, and you know how hard this is! I am hoping to do a Faces in the Crowd story about this truly remarkable person. I have already offered to do a book on her life and I hope she takes me up on the offer.

Well, there you go. I told you about my three hours in a sex toy shop without having to bare my soul or any other body part…mercifully.

In the space of a week, I’ve been to a medical marijuana dispensary and a sex toy shop. What can possibly be next?

Have a great week.