Posted on August 19, 2021 under Thursday Tidbits with 2 comments

 

Mine eyes have seen the glory

 

“Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.”

Matthew (5:38 – 41)

Peek-a-boo. I see you. Or do I?

Welcome class to anatomy 101: Part 2.

I realize that it’s the summer and you have much better things to do than read every word I publish. The lure of the beach and beer is much more compelling than me droning on about the good old days, long walks and bad teeth. For context, please read my Monday post about my trip to the IWK Children’s Hospital with my granddaughter. https://www.week45.com/monday-morning-musings-415/.

Over the past two years, I have noticed subtle changes in my vision. Maybe a lifetime of winking at the fairer sex was finally catching up to me. I wondered if all of those walks in -40 degree weather in Kangiqsujuaq had frozen my eyeballs permanently. As it turns out, and to no one’s surprise, it is just another joyful sign of the aging process. Oh, god, Len. Please don’t go down that depressing rabbit hole about aging… again.

I realize that all of my readers don’t agree with me and my points of view all the time. While we may not see eye to eye on controversial subjects like residential schools, vaccine passports or the best ice cream at Koala Kone, we get along quite well. After all, most of the things I write about are things that you would write about if you weren’t so busy suntanning.

The New York Times Saturday puzzle is challenging to say the least. Rarely have I been able to complete it without one or two Google searches. When I arrived home at the end of May, the first thing I did was ask someone to get me Saturday’s Chronicle Herald so that I could do the puzzle. Are you suggesting that I am bone lazy? Why didn’t I get off my fat, lazy arse and just walk the 100 yards to the convenience store on the corner? I was quarantining. When I opened the paper and folded the page in half, I looked down and all of the clues looked odd. It wasn’t the content of the clues that had me slightly disoriented. I couldn’t see the damn things clearly. I waited patiently until Monday morning at 8:30 and called my optometrist to book an appointment. The earliest that I could be seen, as it turned out, was in mid-August.

I am happy to report that I had my appointment on Monday and doubly so because I discovered that my winking days are not over. I stared at pictures of my eyeball (actual pictures above) and was assured by my optometrist that my eye was quite healthy and that my diminished vision was normal. My diminished mental capacity? Now that is a totally different matter. The jury is till out but most of my friends (all 3 of them) are convinced that I was totally nuts to walk 77 kilometers to celebrate my birthday.

I knew that I wouldn’t be leaving the office without a new prescription for glasses.

Have you purchased glasses recently? If yes, then you know what’s coming next.

A lovely lady spent some time trying to find frames that might make me look younger and more charming. I realized that she only had an 8-hour shift, limited patience, and that she couldn’t dedicate all of her time for me. I put her out of her misery quickly. She produced four sets of frames. I liked the first ones that I tried. We both heaved a sigh of relief.

I realized that inflationary factors would have driven up the price of glasses in four years. I got my first inkling of this last week when I saw what the tooth fairy was paying out these days. When she gave me the total, the image of Tony Soprano appeared in my mind. I reckoned that Tony and his boys must control the production and supply of all the glasses in the world. For the 2% of you that don’t know who Tony Soprano is (was), he was a mob boss in the popular television show, The Sopranos.

Earlier that same day, I received a very pleasant surprise from CRA (Canada Revenue Agency). Pleasant surprises and CRA are rarely uttered in the same breath.  My expert tax filers had filed an adjustment on my tax return, and I received a rebate just north of $800. My joy was very short lived. Can you say “hours”?

“Would you like to pay half now and the other half when the glasses are delivered?’ I understand the psychology and practicality of that question, but the fact of the matter is that my bank account would be bereft of a heavy chunk of change in a few day’s time. After paying the full amount, I had just enough left to purchase a small cheese pizza from The Wheel Pizza and Sub Shoppe.

And I thought the tooth fairy was an extortionist.

Easy come. Easy go.

I tried to rationalize this in a way most of you could relate. Twenty-four hours earlier, I didn’t have the money from CRA. The way I chose to look at it after sharing my trauma with a friend (Thanks, BG for the unique perspective), I had just received a brand new pair of stylish glasses for free!

While the technician didn’t overtly try and upsell me transition lenses (the ones that go dark after you pay for the glasses!), she did casually mention it. I reckoned that if I had two teeth pulled and had a visit from the tooth fairy, that I could easily afford this upgrade.

I can’t give you any advice, dear readers, on buying new glasses. That would be a case of the blind leading the blind.

Have a great weekend.

P.S. The small cheese pizza was delicious!

Posted on August 16, 2021 under Monday Morning Musings with 2 comments

 

Happy Feet

 

Back to school sales are ubiquitous which can only mean one thing. September is lurking in the shadows.

As usual, summer is quickly becoming a blur. June was a pretty decent month. July was sketchy at best, but most Maritimers would agree that having too much rain is far better than the plight of our friends in western Canada who have been suffering the effects of devastating wildfires. August has been pretty steamy so far. It was very hot and humid on the second day of my big walk. It took me several days to recover from my 77 kilometer walk around the Cape. It felt very much like the aftermath of running a marathon. I drank plenty of liquids in recent days trying to restore chemical imbalances that occur during extreme activity.

The day after my big walk, I headed up to Halifax. One of my granddaughters was having dental surgery at the IWK Children’s Hospital and I went up to lend a hand. Many of us have on one occasion or another, gone to the IWK with one of our own children or at the time of the birth of grandchildren. People in Atlantic Canada know that the IWK is an outstanding hospital providing world class care to young people.

I have had several surgeries over my lifetime and no matter how grizzled one is, there is always an unsettling feeling in the days leading up to an operation or procedure. Children are no different. I was asked by my daughter to go to the hospital to assist her the day of the surgery.

Unless you’ve been to the IWK, or any children’s hospital, it is hard to describe the atmosphere. These are very special institutions and I feel quite certain that the most important attributes of an employee in the hospital are compassion and good humour. We had to be at the hospital two hours before the procedure. That is a long time to entertain an eight-year-old who is understandably anxious and worried.

The nurse who did all the pre-op work was a young man. He spoke in calm, reassuring tones as he went through his list of duties. At the first sign of distress, he started pulling tricks out of his magic bag. He brought in a multi-sensory cart. After dimming the lights, he flicked a switch and it was like a lava lamp on steroids. The room was filled with warm glows of red, green and blue, instantly changing the ambience in the room. As we got closer to the time of surgery, there were some rough moments. An iPad was produced with children’s videos and games, and this was followed up by a Nintendo switch. All of these tools were used to calm, relax and reassure our granddaughter.

Everything went very well and after two hours in the waiting room, the surgeon met with us to give a report. She was delightful, just like every other person we dealt with that day at the hospital. I happened to look down and saw the surgeon’s footwear. Everything about the surgeon was joyful right down to her shoes! A few hours later, we were able to leave the hospital.

I can’t say enough about the care my granddaughter received. I must remind myself to send a donation to the IWK the next time they have an appeal.

The tooth fairy.

How much did the tooth fairy leave you when you were a child? I’m quite certain that the going rate back in the 50s and 60s was .25. Rarely was there more than one tooth involved. You wrapped up your tooth in a piece of Kleenex or toilet paper and tucked it under your pillow and awoke to find enough money to buy a Jos Louis and a Coke, which, of course, led to more tooth decay and more extractions. As an aside, the night before the surgery, my daughter had purchased a chocolate cake, a surrogate birthday cake. To say that it was sweet would be an understatement. The icing was so sweet that none of us were able to eat a whole slice. Surely you remember caramel cakes. It’s shocking that any of us old geezers have any teeth at all after consuming these sugar laced treats.

My granddaughter had several teeth removed. Now, the IWK doesn’t return the extracted teeth to their rightful owner. They give the child a certificate indicating the number of teeth. When my daughter told me what the tooth fairy would be leaving (just a small mortgage payment) my jaw dropped. I used to be able to do a calculation of the time value of money but even wildly adjusted for inflation, it wouldn’t come close to the payout for a lost tooth in 2021.

As the surgeon turned to go, I was tempted to ask her if she could quickly remove a few of my teeth. With the money from the tooth fairy, I would be able to afford a nice meal at The Keg, something I have been coveting for more than two years. Mind you, with a few missing teeth, I might not have been able to chew my steak. I could have made a serious dent in the unlimited salad bar.

I am happy to report that my granddaughter’s recovery was speedy and the next day she was outside playing with neighborhood friends.

Thank you, IWK!

Have a great week.

P.S. In case you missed it, I received the most amazing present a few days before my birthday. When I returned from India four years ago, I gave all of my Indian clothes to a friend who is a quilter. She arrived at my apartment and presented me with a memory quilt containing pieces of fabric from the clothing I had given her. It is magnificent and I will cherish it forever. Thanks, MD!!!

 

Posted on August 12, 2021 under Thursday Tidbits with 2 comments

 

 

Overlooking Ballantyne’s Cove – August 10, 2021

 

“Ooh, what a lucky he was,

Ooh what a lucky man he was”.

Lucky Man – Emerson, Lake and Palmer

Three score and ten.

It has a nice ring to it.

Back in the day, the nominal life span for a human was three score and ten which translates into 70. The miracles of modern medicine and healthy lifestyles have pushed this number considerably higher. In many ways the current crop of seniors is healthier than their parents. Not as many people smoke, diets are better, and exercise has become prevalent.

Having kicked around this planet for 70 years (and two days!) I realize that the greatest gift, besides good health, which trumps everything, is friendship. My travels and my writing have put me in contact with so many amazing people in far flung places. Of course, home is home, and I am blessed to have many family, friends, and neighbors.

My epic walk around “The Cape” to mark my 70^th birthday, put friendship on full display. Many of you commented that I was tough. An equal number opined about my sanity. I think I’m on the side of those who think I was nuts to do this.

I received well wishes from all over the world. On Day 2 of my walk as I was trudging up the hill at Ballantynes Cove, I received a message from a fellow Camino walker who lives in Italy, wishing me well. I sent her a picture of Ballantynes Cove. In real time, she was riding her bicycle through the streets of Venice. She sent me some stunning photos. It was magical.

There are simply too many people to thank who provided food, shelter, beverages, words of encouragement and donations along the way. I don’t think anyone would mind me giving a special shout out to my son, Pete, who drove out on three different occasions over the two days to bring sustenance.

I can’t lie. Day 1 was a breeze, relatively speaking. Walking 42 km is never easy but we were blessed with overcast skies and a freshening breeze almost the entire day. Day 2 was a completely different story. I was walking alone and after walking straight uphill for the first kilometer of the day, I realized that it was going to be a warm one. While “only” 35 km in length, the trip from Cape George Point to Antigonish via Lakevale, Cribbon’s etc has a higher level of difficulty with many steep climbs.

Two people who are no longer with us were front and center in my mind. When I had to dig deep to keep pushing forward, I thought of my late mother and my brother, Tom. These were two tough and remarkably energetic people. There was no quit in either one of them. As well, I was using the knapsack and hiking poles that Tom gave to me before he died.

At the 25 km mark, I could feel myself overheating. Luckily and mercifully, this was the exact spot where a few family and friends had agreed to meet me to join me for the last 10km. I phoned them and asked them to bring a cold wet towel, a bag of ice, more Gatorade and water. My brothers took considerable pleasure pouring ice cold water down my neck, head and in my face! Brotherly love never felt so good!

The final lap we turned and went into The Landing. The shade and absence of traffic was amazing and oh so welcome. Near the end of The Landing, I was met by two of my sisters and my niece who greeted me with balloons.

I wasn’t feeling too chipper when the walk ended. Despite my best efforts to stay hydrated, I believe my sodium was low and my electrolytes needed a major boost. It was a bit disappointing that I couldn’t join the family for my birthday dinner at a local restaurant. Instead of steak and red wine, I drank some more Gatorade and ate salty chips. It didn’t take too long for me to feel better.

I lay on my bed and started to read the hundreds of birthday messages. It was quite overwhelming. There is no way that I could possibly answer all of them, so I am sending a huge collective THANK YOU to each and every one of you.

And yes, you guys came through big time. We were able to collect $3500 in donations to go to two worthy projects in my adopted village of Kangiqsujuaq, Quebec.

I would be remiss if I didn’t thank my walking partner on Day 1. Brenda Gould, who owns Elm Gardens, put up with me for the long, excruciating first day of my walk. This had nothing to do with the length of the walk or the weather. Despite the fact that her runners literally disintegrated during the trek, she never uttered a complaint and tolerated my good-natured ribbing at having brought along the wrong footwear the morning of the walk. A year ago, she struggled to walk from one end of Main Street to the other. If anyone needs inspiration, look no further than Brenda. With hard work and determination, anything is possible.

Truly, I am a lucky man.

Have a great weekend.