Posted on November 20, 2024 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with 2 comments

 

Long may you run.

 

It’s stock taking time in the late innings.

Just about every business that I know is compelled by their accountants to do an annual inventory. It is a time to find out what’s on the shelves. Every item in the store has to be counted in order to get an accurate picture of the business’s financial health. Everything is put under the microscope as it were, so that the accountant can determine the relative health of the business.

When was the last time that you took stock? I’m not talking about your business if you happen to own one. I’m talking about examining your life closely to see how you’re doing at any point in your life. Nobody else is going to do this inventory for you. Remember what our old buddy, Socrates once said: “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

And why, pray tell, am I going all philosophical on you? With 8 days of rain in the forecast, it’s as good a time as any to weigh in on weighty matters.

Obituaries. I see them almost daily which is sobering. None of us wants to die but it is inevitable. For many of us in our golden years, we are looking at an ever-shortening runway. How will we spend our remaining years? Yes, we want to live longer but what about the quality of our life. There’s “lifespan” and “health span”. Why do some people live exceptionally long lives and enjoy good health when the vast majority of old people spend their final years in declining health.

Longevity has been studied to death. Pun intended. There are no magic bullets. There are so many factors that determine our life span, some of which are completely out of our control… like genetics. But luckily, most of us have to power to improve our chances of living longer and healthier lives. Its’s not just about how long you live but how well you live.

A friend of mine recommended a book on this topic. While I have found “Outlive” by Dr. Peter Attia to be much too scientific for my liking, his underlying thesis is powerful. Essentially, we are the sum of our life experiences and what we have done over the decades will have a great influence over how our remaining years might unfold.

Unless we die accidentally, we will in all likelihood succumb to one of the following: heart disease, cancer, neurodegenerative disease (dementia, Alzheimers etc.) or diabetes. Attia refers to these as The Four Horseman. For many, the “die is cast” and it might be too late for the Titanic to avoid the iceberg, but the good news is that it’s never too late to try and optimize one’s chances. I am not going to recommend this book to my loyal readers as you will certainly hate me for the recommendation. Truth be told, I skipped over sections that were too technical.

It would take me far too long to explain the basic precepts, but one thing continued to leap off the pages. “I used to prioritize nutrition over everything else, but I now consider exercise to be the most potent longevity “drug” in our arsenal, in terms of lifespan and healthspan. The data are unambiguous: exercise not only delays actual death but also prevents both cognitive and physical decline, better than any other intervention.” Attia.

I decided to pull out the microscope and closely examine my life. I did a “personal inventory”. I made a list of all the things that I have done over my lifetime (from childhood play like playing pond hockey to walking the Camino) that might increase my longevity and the quality of my life. The list was surprisingly long. I also made a companion list of the things that I have done (and continue to do!) which won’t improve my odds. My dependency on sweets is at the top of that list.

Enough pontificating.

One of the things on my inventory list was music. I won’t drone on about how fundamental music has been to my life and overall happiness. I have tilled this ground numerous times in this space.

Over my lifetime, I have attended dozens and dozens… and dozens, of banquets. Often these affairs were held at the end of business conferences, but I will also include wedding banquets and awards banquets. They all have a similar trajectory. They invariably begin with a cocktail hour. When I was much younger, the cocktail hour set the tone for the evening. You get my drift. You are then seated at a round table with 7 others, preferably of your choosing. The chair of the event makes opening remarks and then salad or soup is served. More speeches. Main course. More speeches. Guest speaker. Dessert. Closing remarks.

Some of you might know the name of Judge Joseph Kennedy. The best and only after dinner speech that I can remember.

I was invited by a friend to attend a 50^th anniversary dinner for a Halifax community choral group last week. See above for the trajectory with two exceptions. Cocktail hour is much more restrained when most of the attendants are north of 70! With the exception of my friend, I didn’t know another soul. I am not known to be shy so that didn’t throw me off in the least. Having to have my trousers let out by a skilled seamstress (Thanks, VN) earlier in the week threw me off a bit. It’s shocking how clothes shrink in the closet!

This might have been my favourite banquet ever. The food was good and the company at my table couldn’t have been better. There is something special about a room full of people who love to sing. There was a warmth that was palpable. At the very end, the choir’s accompanist came up and led the group in a singalong. It was quite a thrill to hear a room filled with joy and four-part harmonies.

“You express, when you sing, your soul in song. And when you get together with a group of other singers, it becomes more than the sum of the parts. All of those people are pouring out their hearts and souls in perfect harmony, which is kind of an emblem for what we need in this world, when so much of the world is at odds with itself… to express, in symbolic terms, what it’s like when human beings are in harmony.” John Rutter, composer and conductor.

Might it be time for you to take stock?

Have a great weekend.

 

Posted on November 13, 2024 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with no comments yet

Shame faced

 

“Shame, shame, shame, hey shame on you.”

Shame, Shame, Shame – Shirley and Company

As human beings, we are prone to failure. We make errors in judgment. Sometimes these are trivial and become an afterthought. Others unleash unwanted consequences and remain with us for long periods of time. Failures are unavoidable.

A crying shame.

Halloween has come and gone for another year. I live in an apartment complex that doesn’t attract trick or treaters. Most of us are older and a “treat” is a mid afternoon nap. A “trick” is something earned in a hotly contested bridge game. The odd grandchild of a resident might stop by but those are few and far between. However, I get to experience Halloween vicariously. As a substitute teacher at a junior school, Halloween is still a very big deal especially on costume day. I dress up as an old man.

A doggone shame.

I won’t bore you with too many Halloween stories of my childhood and youth. It was not uncommon to fill two or three pillowcases full of cavity inducing candies and chocolate bars. Very often, October was the harbinger of winter, and it was not unusual to receive our first snowfall on that date.

During my first teaching stint in the Peace River country of Alberta, I lived, for one year, in a remote log cabin. The owner was an incredibly gifted German who wintered in Florida. He had built the cabin himself, and it was a marvel. He did all the work, including plumbing and electrical. He installed such things as a dumb waiter and an indoor cistern. He had light sensors affixed to a garage next door so that when you entered the property, deep in the woods, a floodlight would come on. He was a gifted woodworker and an exceptional cello player. He was truly a renaissance man.

Of course, being this far off the beaten path, I didn’t expect any trick or treaters. The day after Halloween was a school day so I headed to bed at my usual time. Around 10:00 p.m. I was awoken from a deep sleep from someone pounding on my front door. Honestly, it scared the crap out of me. I stumbled to the door and opened it. There stood four adult trick or treaters, holding empty glasses in their hands. Their intent was obvious. They wanted a drink, and I don’t mean water. They were all masked and I had no idea who they were. I invited them in, and they didn’t utter a word. I filled their glasses with rye and coke (a northern Alberta delicacy!). I played along with their ruse but when they asked for a refill, I refused unless they revealed themselves. It turned out that it was the principal and vice-principal of my school and their spouses. We had a great laugh… and another drink.

Fool me once, shame on you,

Fool me twice, shame on me.

What is shame?

“Shame is an emotion that arises after a person makes a choice that does not align with their values. They may believe they made this poor choice because something is inherently wrong with them. These negative and self-critical internal judgments can leave many feeling inadequate or unworthy of being loved.” Source unknown.

If you’ve ever been a college student, you are most likely aware of the “walk of shame”. This happens when you’ve had way too much to drink, and you end up spending the night at some unknown location with someone you met only hours earlier. The morning after, hungover and embarrassed, you slink out of the apartment, house, cabin, hotel room and start the long, embarrassing walk back to your dorm. Your head is down because you can’t lift it up. Your boots are unlaced, and your winter coat is wide open – that is, if you still have a winter coat. It is pathetic to witness and even more shameful if you happen to be wearing those unlaced boots.

Tell the truth and shame the devil.

I must come clean. Shame has overtaken me, and it is time to purge my guilt.

Halloween day was a long one. My first of many excuses. I was up at my usual time that day (around 5:15) and had spent the day at school where the energy level was off the charts. I had a few chores to do after work and missed my power snooze. Excuse number 2. I had already agreed to teach the following day. Excuse number 3. I had a few things on my mind. Excuse number 4. The sum total of these excuses was that I was in bed much earlier than usual. It was about 8:30 and I was drifting off to sleep while watching a Netflix documentary.

Forty-five years to the day, I was awoken from my reverie with a knock on my door and the ringing of my doorbell. It didn’t register at first and I thought nothing of it. The knocking and ringing persisted but in my delicate state of fatigue, a herd of Clydesdales wasn’t going to get me out of bed.

Someone was very determined to get my attention. I succumbed and staggered to the door. There was no one there. Just as I was about to close the door, I caught my neighbour out of the corner of my eye as she made her way up the stairs to her apartment.

“Len. Would you like to join a few of us for a glass of wine to celebrate Halloween?” This sounded about as appealing to me as taking a laxative. I begged off citing my litany of excuses. See 1-4 above. She was a good sport about it.

Relief washed over me as I crawled back into bed.

And then I was struck by an overwhelming sense of shame.

You see, the woman who invited me was 90 and her wine drinking guest was 96.

That is what you call being put to shame.

Have a great weekend.

 

Posted on November 6, 2024 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with no comments yet

Fall colors

If not now, when?

I was chatting with a dear friend lately. We have known each other all our lives. We grew up on the same street. She’s a bit older (and wiser!) so we were never in the same class. She played in a legendary street hockey game with the boys when she was a small girl and managed to send me home in tears with a bloody nose. Hell hath no fury. Like so many childhood friendships, they wax and wane. Most of these friendships eventually fade away but a few have staying power. I am happy to report that this is one of them.

We had been making plans to get together for dinner, but you know how incredibly busy seniors can be! While trying to set a time and date, our conversation drifted off on to other topics. I casually mentioned that I was planning to travel to Spain next spring to tackle a different Camino. The Camino del Norte skirts the northern coastline of Spain along the Bay of Biscay and clocks in at about 850 kilomteters. My plan is to do the walk, spend a few days in Porto, Portugal to unwind and then visit Camino friends in Italy, Germany and England. In the words of the late Tommy Hunter…” the good Lord willin’”.

And why, you ask, would a seemingly sane 73-year-old man (?) spend nigh on 5 weeks traipsing across Spain?

Why not.

If not now, when?

The reality is that the clock is ticking. A second is still a second. A minute is still a minute. An hour is still an hour, and a day is still a day but, oh my, it doesn’t seem that way. It feels like time is drinking way too much Red Bull and is hurtling along like a runaway horse.

After my friend questioned my sanity (not for the first time!), I sent her this note: “You know, B., I’m trying my best not to let opportunities pass. Whether it is travel, new relationships, or musical endeavors (to name a few), I’m throwing caution to the wind. I don’t ever want to say…”I wish I had done…”. I want to get the most out of the time that I have left.”

I still believe that laughter is the best medicine.

I have been doing a lot of substitute teaching lately. It keeps me connected and engaged. The school is like a big extended family to me. I know all of the staff and most of the students now recognize me as a bit of a fixture. A new student who arrived in grade 7 from a feeder school stopped me in the hallway one day and asked me if I was the janitor. I have filled just about every conceivable position in the school and would happily do janitorial work. We have the best janitors at our school.

Last week, my assignment was a bit different. On a rotating basis, I covered for teachers who were having important planning meetings with school staff and parents. Every 15 minutes or so, I would head to a classroom and relieve the teacher. At the beginning of the school day a week ago, I walked into a classroom and made my way to the back of the room as the teacher explained that day’s lesson. He looked at me inquisitively. I took a seat and waited for him to take his leave. After a few minutes, it was apparent that there was a misfire. He finally asked me why I was there and then he realized that he was supposed to be in a meeting. He hadn’t received notice of the meeting. No harm done. He left, I took over the class and all was well.

During lunch hour, a group of us were sitting around the table and the teacher in question told his colleagues about the exchange that morning. His initial reaction when he had seen me as I wandered into his classroom was that I was possibly showing signs of early onset dementia. He had no idea why I was sitting at the back of his classroom. We all had a great laugh.

I had the most magnificent walk last week. It was the first really cold morning of the fall with the temperature just slightly below zero. There was a thick frost and the sky was cloudless. Walking through the woods I felt the crunch of the leaves underfoot. I’m not sure why this happens but when it’s this cold, the leaves fall in greater numbers. It felt as if I was walking in a storm except it was leaves falling rather than snow. Mercifully.

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep.

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.”

Stopping by woods on a Snowy Evening – Robert Frost

And miles (kilometers!) to go before I sleep.

Have a great weekend.