A Very Bunny Tale
Posted on July 12, 2014 under Storytelling with no comments yet
Phoebe
Prior to getting married, many religious denominations require that young couples take a marriage preparation course. I’m all for that. My wife and I were presenters for one of these programs back in the day, a few years after our own wedding. If we only knew then what we know now! A marriage preparation course reviews most aspects of what people should expect as a couple. It talks about commitment and hard work. It reflects on the notion of give and take. Financial management is another very important topic. A lot of time is spent talking about the enormous responsibilities of bringing children into the world.
Nowhere in the agenda, or in “Marriage for Dummies”, is the sensitive topic of pets addressed. You thought I was going to say sex.
In my childhood, our family had a dog. Chipper was most often found under the kitchen table hoping for a few scraps. Fat chance with a family of ten. I think the only time she got a whiff of a leftover was when Mom served liver. Despite this dearth of treats, she still managed to pack on the weight.
Our children had angled for a pet for a long time. When our youngest was two, we (my wife and the kids) decided on a cat. I wasn’t crazy about the idea but acquiesced after days of bruising brow beating. And before you knew it, we had three cats, the last one arriving concealed in a four wheeler helmet. I actually became quite fond of the cats. They all lived long lives and the last of the three was buried last year.
Still town residents, we learned very quickly the reproductive prowess of rabbits. We were assured, by someone who should have known better, that the rabbits we acquired were two females. We learned quickly that the male and female have to be separated before the litter arrives, and that the next litter will arrive almost immediately.
We decided to switch species. When we moved to the country to accommodate our flock of chickens and roosters, our children immersed themselves in the world of 4H.
So it was with considerable interest that I was sitting at a table the other day at the Farmer’s Market, chatting with a friend about animals. She had just procured a large bag of fresh carrots and greens from one of the vendors. She volunteered that this bag of nature’s best was not for human consumption but rather for an indigent rabbit.
“…for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer …” The marriage rite does not expressly talk about pets, especially pets that have been orphaned by your offspring.
We know the drill well. One of your children meets the love of her life and presto, they acquire a pet. When the relationship goes sour, one of the fallouts is the custody of the pet. In many cases, Mom and Dad step in and unexpectedly become foster parents to a four legged creature.
I received a quick history on Phoebe, who was named after a character from the sitcom “Friends”. The conversation was moving along nicely until my friend volunteered that the rabbit lived in the house. This was a domesticated bunny. My head did a complete 360 degree swivel when I heard where the rabbit spends its days.
In the bathroom.
The rabbit is toilet trained (obviously, as it lives in the bathroom!) and spends its day hanging out with the tub, sink and toilet bowl. Apparently this doe has a towel fetish and has destroyed more than one bath sheet.
I am now in a state of shock and bewilderment, trying to imagine some of the possibilities. What happens when you’re entertaining and a guest needs to powder her nose? I am trying to conjure up the image of an invitee, having had a bit too much to drink, spying a rabbit in the bathtub just as she settles onto the throne. Is someone pouring the drinks a little too strong?
Let’s just say that bringing up a rabbit would be a hare raising experience for all involved.
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