Posted on March 6, 2024 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with 2 comments

Fashion Frenzy

 

“You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.” Widdershins Smith

“Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand.”

Cool Hand Luke (The movie)

Where are you on the “cool index”?

Sadly, I don’t think I ever achieved the status of being cool. I wore bell bottoms and a tie-dyed shirt when I was a teenager which was the cool thing to do at the time. I had hoped to attract a young, unsuspecting girl. I’m still waiting but apparently patience is a virtue because a few days ago, I was complimented on my attire.

Now this was both good news and bad news. It was a chilly day, and I wore a sweater to school, the one you see in the photo above. It was actually a backhanded compliment. The sweater was a quarter zipper model. Honestly, I never knew such a thing existed. That shows you how much I know about fashion.

My colleague commented that the sweater I was wearing was “back in style.” That is similar to asking someone wearing an article of clothing if they had any nice ones at the boutique!

Whatever is old is new is old again.

The sweater was manufactured by a company called Chaps. I had to go and look at the tag, something I have never done before. The sweater was a gift and I have been wearing it for over 30 years. Apparently when I acquired it, it must have been fashionable if not downright cool. In order for this style to make a comeback, it must have fallen out of favour. I guess I never got the memo. I kept wearing it over the decades and wonder of wonders, I’m cool again. NOT!

Some clothing never seems to be out of vogue. To wit – blue jeans. We wore blue jeans as kids. They were tough and durable (Like many of my fellow seniors!). Because we spent so much time in the outdoors, climbing trees, building forts and playing games, our clothing needed to be virtually indestructible. Eventually, holes would appear but when you came from a large Catholic family, getting new clothes wasn’t an option so you just wore them and suffered the odd taunt from the rich kids.

Blue jeans survive to this day and when I’m not teaching, I’m wearing denim.

Which brings me to “distressed jeans”. Distressed jeans are a type of jeans that have been purposely damaged or ripped. Distressed jeans are usually made to look like they’ve been worn for a long time. The only thing distressing about this fashion statement is the price. I did a quick Google search and I found a pair of St.Laurent Skinny-Fit jeans for $1,064.54. On two counts, would I never be caught in these. “Skinny-Fit” and the price tag are major impediments. I wonder if Yves sells “Fat-Fit” jeans?! Surely the world has gone completely and utterly mad.

I have never, not even once, been accused of being fashion conscious. I don’t subscribe to GQ. I don’t have “fashion, style or culture”, the hallmarks of this magazine. I am more of a Frenchy’s kind of guy and occasionally, I’ll splurge and go to Moore’s Clothing For Men.

Lest you think that I am possibly the dullest and uncool guy in the world, I admit that I was whistled at… once. When this happens, it is very shocking. For women, catcalls are usually frowned upon but when a guy catches the eye of the fairer sex, it is time to break out the champagne.

This once in a lifetime event happened in 2019 when I was doing the Camino in Spain. It was a beautiful, serene morning and I was walking alone through one of the many small, farming villages in Northern Spain. I passed several well-kept homes along the main thoroughfare. Many were adorned with beautiful flowers and the properties were well maintained. You could tell that there was a lot of civic pride.

At first, I thought I was mistaken. I thought I had heard the classic whistle that might be heard at a construction work site when a shapely woman passes by. Surely I must have been dreaming but then I heard it again. I was startled, slightly embarrassed and then chuffed. Some damsel had seen this rugged Canadian (she could tell because I had a Canadian flag decal on my backpack) trudging along the Camino – battered, bruised and blistered. I wondered if I might get invited in for a hot cup of coffee. The locals in these small villages are very kind.

I was trying to get a bead on where the whistling was coming from. Most of the homes were two story and I did a cursory glance up and down that side of the street but alas, a lass was nowhere to be found. I did a closer inspection and there, in the window of the second floor of this home, was a parrot.

When was the last time that you were humbled by a parrot? I had a great laugh and returned the whistle and was on my way.

I am told that there are people in social media called influencers. They are trend setters and can move the needle when it comes to marketing products. Logan Paul has 25.4 million followers on Instagram. I have 68.

Now that I know my sweater is back in style, maybe I’ll take a stab at being an influencer for seniors.

Rogaine for men?!

The Geezer’s Paradox, indeed.

Have a great weekend and don’t forget to turn your clocks ahead one-hour, early Sunday morning.

P.S. It’s not easy being an influencer!

Posted on February 21, 2024 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with 4 comments

King of the castle

 

“I’m on the top of the world,

Looking down on creation”.

Top of the World – The Carpenters

If you had the choice, would you rather own a Rolls-Royce and a villa in France, unlimited financial resources and a trip around the world or a good night’s sleep? It seems like a no brainer unless you happen to be in your “golden years”. You see, the definition of luxuries changes with age.

When a golfer hits a ball perfectly, it’s referred to “hitting it on the sweet spot.” Throwing a perfect game in baseball, scoring 300 points in bowling or getting the elusive 29 hand in crib, are all examples of perfection but normal mortals rarely reach these lofty heights. I have always felt that striving for excellence was far more important than striving for perfection. Perfectionists are often terrible bores.

Recently, I have been feeling on top of the world. No, I didn’t win the 50/50 draw. I do, however, feel like I’ve won a lottery of sorts because I have come to the realization that I am blessed with so many luxuries. At the top of the list is good health followed closely by having so many good friends. One could argue that the two go hand in hand and that friendships are a key determinant of good health.

Luxuries.

At seventy-two, I don’t have a lot of pressure anymore. Our children are launched, and my “official” work career is behind me, although I still manage to crawl out of bed three days a week to substitute teach. No more mortgage. No more car. I live a very simple existence.

As a result, my worry meter is very low and as a result, I sleep well. The value of a good night’s sleep cannot be overstated in my humble opinion. It may be the greatest luxury of all because when a person is well rested, just about anything is possible.

Slow mornings. When I’m not schlepping my backpack to school, I have the luxury of being a slug. I watch the morning sports recap with a nice cup of coffee and then settle in for an hour of reading. When you’re younger, there’s always somewhere to go and something to do. I believe it’s called responsibility.

Long walks. I walk every day of my life, and nothing gives me more pleasure than a long walk. I’m not necessarily talking about a Camino walk of 800 kilometers. Having the time to walk for an hour or two is a gift. Many years ago when I was a marathon runner, I would often listen to music or a podcast to alleviate boredom. These days, I’m far more interested in listening to the sound of birds even if it’s a murder of crows.

A good book. Retirement has given me the luxury of time and every day, I read for at least two hours. It’s a form of escapism especially when reading fiction but who cares. It is a delicious way to pass the time.

Home cooked meals. I love nothing more than going out for pad Thai or a juicy steak but there is great pleasure in having the time to prepare home cooked meals and to share them with good friends or family.

Power snoozes. Actually, a short midday nap might be closer to the top of my luxury list. It is “the pause that refreshes”. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would have the capacity to fall asleep, on demand, in the middle of the day. This is one of the many byproducts of having a low worry meter. When a person is in the trenches of midlife, raising a family and working, there’s just too much going on in your head to be able to hit the snooze button. As shocking as it may seem, I can consume a cup of coffee at lunch time and a mere thirty minutes later, crash on the couch. One thing I’ve noticed is that these short bursts of rest are not accompanied by dreams. I fall asleep quickly and am shocked to wake just as quickly as if nothing had happened.

Time for fun and play. Many retirees have discovered pickleball. Others curl, golf, quilt or play bridge. Add travel to this list. My guitar is always close at hand, and it is indeed a luxury to have the time to learn new (old!) songs. Learning new things is fun and stimulates the brain. At least that’s what I’m hoping. And writing, of course.

Sunrises and sunsets. No explanation required. I never take my sight for granted.

A good conversation. It’s a wonderful thing to sit and chat with a dear friend one on one or gather with a group for a fulsome discussion on something that matters… or merely shooting the breeze. I love being in the presence of people who are smarter than me. I don’t have to work at that!

The freedom to choose. So many people do not have the privilege of choice. I know how fortunate I am. One of my most recent choices is to drastically reduce my intake of news. So much of it is depressing. I don’t mind being accused of being an ostrich but not obsessing about things over which I have no control allows me to have power snoozes and a good night’s sleep. By the way, ostriches, contrary to popular belief, do not bury their heads in the sand when scared or frightened. When an ostrich senses danger and cannot run away, it will flop to the ground and remain still, attempting to blend in with the terrain. Now aren’t you glad you read all the way down the page?! I simply flop on the couch and close my eyes!

I have an abundance of luxuries.

Most of them don’t come with an expensive price tag.

“Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz?

My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,

Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,

So, oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz.”

Mercedes Benz – Janis Joplin

Have a great weekend… and sleep in, if you have the luxury of doing so!

 

What goes up, must come down

Posted on February 14, 2024 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with 2 comments

 

Bar none

 

“Sugar in the mornin’,

Sugar in the evenin’,

Sugar at suppertime,

Be my little sugar,

And love me all the time.”

Sugartime – The McGuire Sisters

My addiction to sugar started in utero.

We’re all familiar with the expression about something leaving a bad taste in your mouth. Most often the expression is not literal. Yes, biting into a lemon wedge is cringe worthy and may leave you with a sour expression, unless this action is followed by a shot of tequila. More often than not, it is a life experience that leaves you wanting. A loss to a lesser opponent in a sporting event, a failed promotion at work, or the end of a relationship may have you running for Listerine. Listerine may kill 99.9% of germs that cause bad breath, but it won’t ameliorate hurt feelings.

My mother had a notorious sweet tooth. And she loved to bake. This is a devastating combination. Growing up as children, we had sweets at every dinner. In addition to doing multiple loads of laundry, baking bread, shopping, and house cleaning, she found time to make a homemade dessert. With ten of us, this was no mean feat. It must have been disheartening for her to slave away making two homemade apple pies and to see them evaporate at the hands of vultures.

Serious sugar cravings began when we started going to the Saturday matinees at the Capitol theatre. Armed with .50, our allowance for doing dishes and polishing our shoes before going to Sunday mass, we would march down to Main Street to catch the latest Western movie. The movie cost .37 which left us with .13. Across the street from the theatre was a small shop. Dot’s Confectionary was the Holy Grail for candy and, trust me, you could get a lot of candy for .13. It was normal to be able to get 5 candies for a penny. Licorice pipes were a tad more expensive. We would leave Dot’s with a small brown bag loaded to the gills with 65 candies – good news for the family dentist.

As a teenager, the most popular hangout was the bowling alley, simply referred to as The Alleys. There was a long railing in front of the building where we spent hours perched there, watching the world go by, listening to the gentle gurgling of the Brierly Brook just a few feet away. The Alleys boasted ten lanes and later on, a new vice was added to remove money from our meagre savings. A snooker/pool room became another place to hang out. However, the centerpiece of the bowling alley was the snack bar where they served the best milkshakes in the world, made from Eastern Dairyfoods ice cream and milk. They also had a candy counter, and you could purchase a Jos Louis (or a Caramel Cake) and a Coke for .25. For the uninitiated, a Jos Louis was a chocolatey cake with a creamy filling wrapped in a decadent chocolate coating.

For me, it has been a downward spiral ever since. I have kicked most vices including cigarettes but to this day, my addiction to sugar rages on.

Where do I start? How many of these do you remember? Oh Henry (a good way to lose a filling), Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp, Cherry Blossom, coconut bars, Bridge Mixture and caramel bars. How do they get the caramel inside those bars? The list is endless. There are days I wonder why I’m not 300 pounds. And don’t even get me going on chocolate. I have been known to decimate more than one row from a box of Pot of Gold at Christmas. Recently, our community was blessed with the arrival of a family from Syria. Their chocolate enterprise, Peace by Chocolate, has become an international sensation.

I was parked in front of the television recently, whilst in a sugar coma, after ingesting two, sickeningly sweet store-bought donuts. The usual ads rolled across the screen but one in particular caught my attention. This product is gaining in popularity as the newest weight reduction strategy. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to apple cider vegan gummies.“ Lean, green, and as far away as you can go from mean, our organic lean gummies harness all the healthy, digestion-boosting power of apple cider vinegar without any of the unpleasant, wince inducing sour taste.” Go figure.

Somewhere the proprietress of Dot’s Confectionary is rolling over in her grave.

I may have finally found a way to kick my sugar habit once and for all and lose a few pounds in the process. Probably not.

My lifelong love affair with sugar rages on.

Sugar. The sweet seductress.

“Sweet, sweet surrender,

Live, live without care.”

Sweet Surrender – John Denver

Happy Valentine’s Day.