Posted on November 13, 2024 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with no comments yet

Shame faced

 

“Shame, shame, shame, hey shame on you.”

Shame, Shame, Shame – Shirley and Company

As human beings, we are prone to failure. We make errors in judgment. Sometimes these are trivial and become an afterthought. Others unleash unwanted consequences and remain with us for long periods of time. Failures are unavoidable.

A crying shame.

Halloween has come and gone for another year. I live in an apartment complex that doesn’t attract trick or treaters. Most of us are older and a “treat” is a mid afternoon nap. A “trick” is something earned in a hotly contested bridge game. The odd grandchild of a resident might stop by but those are few and far between. However, I get to experience Halloween vicariously. As a substitute teacher at a junior school, Halloween is still a very big deal especially on costume day. I dress up as an old man.

A doggone shame.

I won’t bore you with too many Halloween stories of my childhood and youth. It was not uncommon to fill two or three pillowcases full of cavity inducing candies and chocolate bars. Very often, October was the harbinger of winter, and it was not unusual to receive our first snowfall on that date.

During my first teaching stint in the Peace River country of Alberta, I lived, for one year, in a remote log cabin. The owner was an incredibly gifted German who wintered in Florida. He had built the cabin himself, and it was a marvel. He did all the work, including plumbing and electrical. He installed such things as a dumb waiter and an indoor cistern. He had light sensors affixed to a garage next door so that when you entered the property, deep in the woods, a floodlight would come on. He was a gifted woodworker and an exceptional cello player. He was truly a renaissance man.

Of course, being this far off the beaten path, I didn’t expect any trick or treaters. The day after Halloween was a school day so I headed to bed at my usual time. Around 10:00 p.m. I was awoken from a deep sleep from someone pounding on my front door. Honestly, it scared the crap out of me. I stumbled to the door and opened it. There stood four adult trick or treaters, holding empty glasses in their hands. Their intent was obvious. They wanted a drink, and I don’t mean water. They were all masked and I had no idea who they were. I invited them in, and they didn’t utter a word. I filled their glasses with rye and coke (a northern Alberta delicacy!). I played along with their ruse but when they asked for a refill, I refused unless they revealed themselves. It turned out that it was the principal and vice-principal of my school and their spouses. We had a great laugh… and another drink.

Fool me once, shame on you,

Fool me twice, shame on me.

What is shame?

“Shame is an emotion that arises after a person makes a choice that does not align with their values. They may believe they made this poor choice because something is inherently wrong with them. These negative and self-critical internal judgments can leave many feeling inadequate or unworthy of being loved.” Source unknown.

If you’ve ever been a college student, you are most likely aware of the “walk of shame”. This happens when you’ve had way too much to drink, and you end up spending the night at some unknown location with someone you met only hours earlier. The morning after, hungover and embarrassed, you slink out of the apartment, house, cabin, hotel room and start the long, embarrassing walk back to your dorm. Your head is down because you can’t lift it up. Your boots are unlaced, and your winter coat is wide open – that is, if you still have a winter coat. It is pathetic to witness and even more shameful if you happen to be wearing those unlaced boots.

Tell the truth and shame the devil.

I must come clean. Shame has overtaken me, and it is time to purge my guilt.

Halloween day was a long one. My first of many excuses. I was up at my usual time that day (around 5:15) and had spent the day at school where the energy level was off the charts. I had a few chores to do after work and missed my power snooze. Excuse number 2. I had already agreed to teach the following day. Excuse number 3. I had a few things on my mind. Excuse number 4. The sum total of these excuses was that I was in bed much earlier than usual. It was about 8:30 and I was drifting off to sleep while watching a Netflix documentary.

Forty-five years to the day, I was awoken from my reverie with a knock on my door and the ringing of my doorbell. It didn’t register at first and I thought nothing of it. The knocking and ringing persisted but in my delicate state of fatigue, a herd of Clydesdales wasn’t going to get me out of bed.

Someone was very determined to get my attention. I succumbed and staggered to the door. There was no one there. Just as I was about to close the door, I caught my neighbour out of the corner of my eye as she made her way up the stairs to her apartment.

“Len. Would you like to join a few of us for a glass of wine to celebrate Halloween?” This sounded about as appealing to me as taking a laxative. I begged off citing my litany of excuses. See 1-4 above. She was a good sport about it.

Relief washed over me as I crawled back into bed.

And then I was struck by an overwhelming sense of shame.

You see, the woman who invited me was 90 and her wine drinking guest was 96.

That is what you call being put to shame.

Have a great weekend.

 

Posted on November 6, 2024 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with no comments yet

Fall colors

If not now, when?

I was chatting with a dear friend lately. We have known each other all our lives. We grew up on the same street. She’s a bit older (and wiser!) so we were never in the same class. She played in a legendary street hockey game with the boys when she was a small girl and managed to send me home in tears with a bloody nose. Hell hath no fury. Like so many childhood friendships, they wax and wane. Most of these friendships eventually fade away but a few have staying power. I am happy to report that this is one of them.

We had been making plans to get together for dinner, but you know how incredibly busy seniors can be! While trying to set a time and date, our conversation drifted off on to other topics. I casually mentioned that I was planning to travel to Spain next spring to tackle a different Camino. The Camino del Norte skirts the northern coastline of Spain along the Bay of Biscay and clocks in at about 850 kilomteters. My plan is to do the walk, spend a few days in Porto, Portugal to unwind and then visit Camino friends in Italy, Germany and England. In the words of the late Tommy Hunter…” the good Lord willin’”.

And why, you ask, would a seemingly sane 73-year-old man (?) spend nigh on 5 weeks traipsing across Spain?

Why not.

If not now, when?

The reality is that the clock is ticking. A second is still a second. A minute is still a minute. An hour is still an hour, and a day is still a day but, oh my, it doesn’t seem that way. It feels like time is drinking way too much Red Bull and is hurtling along like a runaway horse.

After my friend questioned my sanity (not for the first time!), I sent her this note: “You know, B., I’m trying my best not to let opportunities pass. Whether it is travel, new relationships, or musical endeavors (to name a few), I’m throwing caution to the wind. I don’t ever want to say…”I wish I had done…”. I want to get the most out of the time that I have left.”

I still believe that laughter is the best medicine.

I have been doing a lot of substitute teaching lately. It keeps me connected and engaged. The school is like a big extended family to me. I know all of the staff and most of the students now recognize me as a bit of a fixture. A new student who arrived in grade 7 from a feeder school stopped me in the hallway one day and asked me if I was the janitor. I have filled just about every conceivable position in the school and would happily do janitorial work. We have the best janitors at our school.

Last week, my assignment was a bit different. On a rotating basis, I covered for teachers who were having important planning meetings with school staff and parents. Every 15 minutes or so, I would head to a classroom and relieve the teacher. At the beginning of the school day a week ago, I walked into a classroom and made my way to the back of the room as the teacher explained that day’s lesson. He looked at me inquisitively. I took a seat and waited for him to take his leave. After a few minutes, it was apparent that there was a misfire. He finally asked me why I was there and then he realized that he was supposed to be in a meeting. He hadn’t received notice of the meeting. No harm done. He left, I took over the class and all was well.

During lunch hour, a group of us were sitting around the table and the teacher in question told his colleagues about the exchange that morning. His initial reaction when he had seen me as I wandered into his classroom was that I was possibly showing signs of early onset dementia. He had no idea why I was sitting at the back of his classroom. We all had a great laugh.

I had the most magnificent walk last week. It was the first really cold morning of the fall with the temperature just slightly below zero. There was a thick frost and the sky was cloudless. Walking through the woods I felt the crunch of the leaves underfoot. I’m not sure why this happens but when it’s this cold, the leaves fall in greater numbers. It felt as if I was walking in a storm except it was leaves falling rather than snow. Mercifully.

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep.

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.”

Stopping by woods on a Snowy Evening – Robert Frost

And miles (kilometers!) to go before I sleep.

Have a great weekend.

 

 

 

Posted on October 23, 2024 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with no comments yet

Huh?

 

“The seasons spinning round again,

The years keep rolling by.”

All My Life’s a Circle – Harry Chapin

You have to love the seasons.

Most people in my part of the world are experiencing one of the most magnificent falls in recent memory. The weather has been spectacular. If you’re an outdoors person, it has been a perfect time of year for a long bike ride, a hike in the mountains or a leisurely stroll on a country road. The Fall colors are breathtaking.

Fall

                                                               how

                                                             I love to catch

                                                           the falling leaves

                                                                   in autumn

                                            I

                                                                   Sit

                               and

                                                       wait

                                                                                                           beneath

                                                                     the

                                        trees

                                                                                       until

                                                            I’ve

                                                                          Cautumn

                                                                                                                                         Brian Bilston

Love this poem.

Every season coincides with some kind of special day. In “night’s deep silence” (the winter), we have New Year’s Day, followed by Valentine’s Day. Next up in early Spring is Easter. Then we have Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. In October we have Hallowe’en, Remembrance Day. Last but not least, we have Christmas in December.

I have highlighted December for a reason.

That’s because I’m going to go on a little rant.

I like the flow of the seasons. They arrive seamlessly one after the other.

At least, in theory.

That is, until some people decide that October is the perfect time to put up their Christmas tree. We haven’t even begun to carve our pumpkins and in some quarters, it’s the right time to put up the tree. And yes, yesterday, I saw my first Christmas ad on television.

I never thought that I would turn into one of those crotchety seniors who grumble at the least provocation, but I guess old age has finally caught up to me. Not all that long ago (just shortly after dinosaurs roamed the earth), we respectfully waited until November 12^th before officially leaping into Christmas. “Ten lords a-leaping”.

I know that many of my loyal readers are absolutely passionate about Christmas, and I respect that.

I just wonder how the needles will stay on the tree for the next 63 days!

Municipal elections are over.

The votes have been counted.

Democracy lives to fight another day.

Last week, in schools around the province of Nova Scotia, mock elections were held in the lead up to the actual elections. I happened to be in school, substitute teaching that day, and was seconded to help the teacher who had organized the event.

In my last piece, I talked about Civics 101.

What I witnessed last Friday was one of the finest demonstrations of democracy, writ large, that I have ever been part of. Every aspect of the mock election was a perfect mirror of an actual election. Grade 7 and 8 students acted as agents, poll clerks and scrutineers. Let’s face it. These young people are our future leaders and what better way to get them engaged at an early age than having them participate in the process. They were particularly excited when it came to counting the ballots.

Humility.         

Every day I spend with young students, I have opportunities to pass along little “pearls of wisdom”! One of the students assisting with the voting was bragging about how good she was at this task. I tried to explain to her that people who are good at different things whether it’s academics, sports or artistic endeavours, don’t need to tell people how good they are. It is evident.

Last week, I put on my one man show of music and story telling at our local museum. It was the first time that I tried a solo show using this format so I wasn’t sure how many people would show up. Twenty minutes before show time, there wasn’t one person in the museum unless you counted the mannequin of the ticket agent! People slowly trickled in and by 7:00 we nearly had a sellout crowd.

Before I got things rolling, I told the audience about a book launch that didn’t quite launch. I had always done my book launches in my hometown. For this particular book, I decided to do a second launch in a neighboring town where I used to have an office when I was in business. I decided to go “all in” and distributed flyers, did some radio spots and some ads in the local newspaper. I booked a restaurant for the launch and had them cater to the event. Big trays of sandwiches and sweets, coffee, tea.

It was a wintry evening but not one that you would consider stormy. I anxiously watched the front door. At about 6:58, two minutes before start time, a couple showed up. And that was the entirety of the “crowd”. Fifteen minutes later, I was on my way back to Antigonish with my proverbial tail between my legs.

Humble pie is not all that tasty!

“To everything, turn, turn, turn,

There is a season, turn, turn, turn”

Turn. Turn. Turn – The Byrds

Have a great weekend.