Credit Card Crazy

Posted on September 9, 2014 under Storytelling with 3 comments

Fare thee well love

We all realize that credit cards are a necessary evil.  There may be close to a billion and a half credit cards in use in North America.  It is almost impossible these days to book a hotel or a flight without using a card.  And it is also imperative to have a card in a crisis situation, like an unexpected 50% sale at someone’s favorite department store.

The good news is that, in all likelihood, credit cards will be obsolete by the year 2024.  The bad news is that the last time I checked it was still 2014, so plastic will still be the predominant method to transact business for a few years yet.

Like many prudent Canadians, we are trying to get things in order as we head into retirement.  We are downsizing in order to simplify our lives.  We share one car and, if it was possible, we would only carry one credit card.  While it is tempting to hold onto a card that offers a generous credit limit, we know that this is good for the health of financial institutions and not necessarily our fiscal well-being.

A couple of months ago we decided to cancel one of our cards that hadn’t had a good workout in a while.  The account was in my name and in this age of security and privacy consciousness I was the only one who could cancel it.  The person at the call centre was very disappointed to lose a “valued client” like me.  They only value you when you don’t pay off your balances on a monthly basis.  She assured me that the account had been closed.

Two months later I received a surprise in the mail.  It wasn’t quite a lottery win or a free cruise (my, how the cruises are piling up), but I was startled to learn that the credit card company actually owed me money; 30 cents, to be exact.   I was about to toss the statement in the shredder but my better half strongly suggested (!) that I once again place a call and have the matter laid to rest once and for all.  If not, she opined, I would continue to receive statements, wasting precious trees in the process.

It was a Friday morning.  Everyone loves Friday so what better way to start TGIF than taking care of a small, menacing chore.  I had my statement handy and dialed the 1-800 number.  I played the typical game of charades and dutifully pressed button after button waiting to speak to someone who had a pulse.  I was a bit startled when all of the instructions were delivered in French. With apologies to my Acadian friends in Pomquet, Isle Madame and Cheticamp, I wasn’t quite up to dealing with a long winded explanation of options, en francais.

As my ire grew, I finally heard an English voice:” For English, press 1”.  I am not normally tempted to strangle a phone.

The living, breathing specimen I ended up talking to was a pleasant enough sort.  He started the interrogation in the usual manner. “What is your name? What is your date of birth?” Do you have your credit card with you?”  “Well no” I replied, “I cut it up two months ago when you allegedly closed my account”.  And then, the questions abruptly stopped.  I had failed the security test.  Not only that, there was nothing he could do because the account was no longer active.  Duh.  We were at an impasse and I had to get to work.  To add injury to insult, he told me that I would have to deal with a higher authority in the “security division” which would open in 59 minutes.  It’s a good thing he doesn’t understand Gaelic.

Later in the day, I called and spoke to a helpful agent who put the matter to bed immediately.  And I learned that it could have been handled just as easily earlier that morning.

I can hardly wait for the day that credit cards become a thing of the past.  I dream of the time when I will be able to stand in the bank and simply shout at the top of my lungs, “Give me fifty bucks,” and out the money will come.  Or wave my hand at the grocery clerk to have my purchases paid for, bagged and delivered by the time I get home.

Just like it used to be when cash was king.

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