Grinding to a Halt

Posted on November 5, 2013 under Storytelling with one comment

It was a visit that the young bachelor was dreading.  He was about to meet his future in- laws for the first time and was determined to make a good impression.  Because of his military training, he was a better than average housekeeper; he ironed his own clothing and was decent cook.  His specialty was barbequing, a skill which he had honed to perfection.

As the day of the visit approached, he cleaned his home to within an inch of its life.  The bathrooms were scoured, the carpets vacuumed and he even did a bit of light dusting.  Well trained indeed.

The visit could not have gone better.  His fiancé introduced her parents and it didn’t take long for the conversation to flow.  He was feeling quite pleased with himself and was certain that he needn’t worry about that old adage, “You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.”

At the conclusion of a delicious steak dinner it was time for dessert and coffee.  Because he was single he owned a high tech, single serving coffee maker but it would take too long to make individual cups.  Instead he opted for his trusty Black and Decker carafe style maker.

His mother in law stood at his flank as he readied himself to brew an 8 cupper.  He retrieved the large can of coffee from the freezer.  She would be impressed that he knew how to keep coffee fresh.  He even used the brown, eco-friendly coffee filters.  He used filtered water kept in the fridge.  If he was going to make coffee, it was going to be done to perfection.

She thought she would be helpful so she lifted the lid of the coffee maker to put in the basket.  And then she halted and there was an audible gasp.

It appeared that the last time he used this apparatus was during basic training many years earlier.  The filter had completely disintegrated and the grinds, covered in fungus, were a hideous grey green color.    It looked like a toxic waste site, which is exactly what it was.

An awkward silence ensued.

He thought about a possible explanation but chose to remain silent.  He removed the offensive remains from the basket and left it to sit in warm soapy water.

He proceeded to make several individual cups of perfectly brewed coffee and there was no mention ever made of the incident again … until after the wedding.

The gift opening ceremony was held and the usual array of wedding gifts was unwrapped and fawned over.  They included cash, which is the preferred gift of most young couples starting out.  There was only one envelope left in the basket that held all the cards.  The groom carefully opened it and a broad grin crossed his face.

It was from his mother in law.  Her note said it all.  “Bad coffee is grounds for divorce.”  Attached was a gift card to Starbucks.

Advertisement