Hair Miles

Posted on December 28, 2013 under Storytelling with one comment

“Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair.”

1968 Musical “Hair”

It has become increasingly difficult to figure out the landscape these days if you are in business. That goes for big business and small businesses.  How does one get and keep customers when loyalty has all but disappeared?  With the onslaught of technology and the accompanying on-line shopping phenomenon, businesses have to be very creative to have their voices heard above the din.

That includes the barbershop.

I was in getting my Christmas trim the other day and, as usual, there was lots of banter.  One thing about my barbershop is that it hasn’t changed all that much over the years.  And I like that.  I think the four chairs that face the large mirrors have been around for 75 or more years, dating back to the days of Henry J. and Tom.  Hair clippers have remained virtually unchanged and they’re still playing CJFX as background music.  The only thing missing is “The Old Timer.”

There’s something very comfortable and reassuring about this place when everything else seems to have changed, and not always for the best.

But barbers are a shrewd lot and they watch the aging population like everyone else and know that they must build a farm team of new customers.  With this in mind, they have come up with a novel rewards program: Hair Miles.

It seems that just about everyone you bump into has some kind of rewards card.  And we are a society that is fascinated with travel.  Put the two together and you get people consuming goods and services at a staggering rate.  It won’t be long before the shop starts to hang posters of places like Cuba and the Dominican on their walls as a subtle enticement.

So, how will Hair Miles work, you might ask?  Pretty simple, actually.  The barbershop plans to install a small weigh scale, and at the completion of your haircut, they will simply sweep up the hairs lying on the ground, bag them and weigh them.  You will insert your Hair Miles card in a machine and, voila!  You have become a collector and hopefully a repeat customer.  The “Wealthy Barber” reincarnated.

The theory behind this makes perfect sense but only if you have been blessed with a full head of hair.  Back in the day when I had an afro, I would have piled up the miles, but these days, there is not a lot of grass growing on top.

I am trying to visualize this before I sign a membership application.  I decide to test my theory and wait patiently for my haircut to end so that I can examine the evidence at my feet.

Despondency sets in as I see a few gray tufts floating around the floor.  There is not enough there to make a home for a self-respecting mouse.  I try to imagine the weigh scale trying to calculate the incalculable.  I realize that I am not a good candidate for the program.

At the rate that I would collect Hair Miles, I probably wouldn’t have enough to make it off of Main Street.

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