I Bequeath You

Posted on May 10, 2014 under Storytelling with one comment

An organ donation

“Please don’t bury me, down in that cold, cold ground”

John Prine

Most of the time, my thoughts are about living.  I’m very much a “carpe diem” kind of guy. When I sent this story to the newspaper in Cape Breton after one too many coffees, it came out as “caper dime”, which caused a lot of well-deserved head scratching.  I am definitely a “glass half full” person.

But I’m also in the reality business and know that my time must come, just as it will is for everyone else on the planet.  In my line of work, I talk to clients all the time about their estate plans.  I make sure that they have current wills, powers of attorney and personal health care directives.  Throw in a life insurance policy for the grandchildren’s education and you’re good to go.

So, what is your plan?  What will you leave to your children and grandchildren?  If you’ve never married, who will receive the fruits of your labor?

I was chatting with a good friend the other day about this and, after careful consideration; he decided that he wanted to donate his body to science.  I thought that this was a very honorable thing to do.  He even made the effort to go to Halifax to the medical school at Dalhousie University.  He met with the doctor in charge who conducted a brief case history and psychological profile.  A few days later, he received a piece of registered mail from Dalhousie Medical School.  Stamped on the enclosed letter was the word “REJECTED”.  Apparently there were so many body parts in poor repair, including his brain, that he was not deemed a worthy candidate.

Many clients ask about organ donation.  I had a long discussion with a lady who never drank or smoked.  She was extremely fit for her age.  She seemed to be an ideal candidate to donate a heart, liver or lung, save for her hearing.  I told her to think it over and we would discuss it at a subsequent meeting.  Two weeks later, she proudly produced a draft of her will in which she bequeathed her Hammond organ to the church.

I also encourage people to make a list of prized possessions in order to avoid family disputes.  I have often seen families bicker for years after a death about an antique or grandma’s jewelry.  Mr. Jones, who routinely was at odds with his wife, wondered if he might be able to give her away while he was still living.  Mrs. Jones, who was standing a few feet away, suggested that perhaps he could donate his heart … except that he didn’t have one.  Love is blind.

And there’s always one curmudgeon who doesn’t want to leave anything to anybody. He still has his rabbit money and the only coins he ever spent in his life were on 3-in-1 oil.  He is so tight he squeaks.  It was with amusement that I read the other day that a sum of money was lost at his wake at the funeral home.  I was never one to dwell much on the afterlife but now I am sure it exists.  I suspect that the money fell out of his pockets when they put him in the casket and he sent the notice using mental telepathy.

Who says you can’t take it with you?

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