Manography

Posted on November 19, 2013 under Storytelling with no comments yet

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My wife’s grandfather was an amazing man.  He was extremely talented with his hands and could build or fix just about anything.  He had a workshop next to his house, and this was his place of refuge.  He loved working with wood and one of his prized possessions was his workbench to which was attached the largest vise known to man.  Some say that he could put a 2×4 into the vise and it would come out flattened like a piece  of ¼ “ plywood.  In other words, this vise was a beast.

I mention this because I was asking my wife to describe mammography.

As we age, we must all practice preventive maintenance.  We have our teeth checked regularly, some of us get a flu shot, men get an annual prostate examination and women are urged to have a mammogram to detect signs of breast cancer.

Most women and some men would not be remotely interested in hearing the details of a prostate exam.  But I feel compelled to give you a visual.  Imagine a witch, stumbling out of bed , a bit bleary eyed and hopping on her broom, only to discover that the broom handle somehow got lodged in her arse.  Enough said.

And so it was that a friend of ours, being in that age group, needed to have her annual mammogram.  For many women, just the thought of making the appointment is enough to induce cringing.  Like a prostate exam, most women arrange this through their physician but in some cases it is done through a central registry.

Having had to cancel a previous appointment, she decided to call the 1-800 number and get it over with.  Whether it was anxiety or a sleepless night worrying about it, she inadvertently dialed the wrong number.

On the third ring a pleasant sounding male voice greeted her.  She didn’t bother listening to his cheery salutation. She just wanted to book the damn appointment and be done with it.

“I’d like to reschedule my breast exam, please.”

This harmless question was greeted by a lengthy pause and a clearing of the voice on the other end of the line.  Thinking that he had not heard her correctly, she repeated the question.  She thought that she heard a chuckle on the other end of the line, which quickly turned into a guffaw. “I would love to help you out, ma’am, but I think you’ve called the wrong number. This is Geography World.”

She joined in the laughter and they ended the call, with Joe from Geography World wishing her luck with the exam.

She hit the end button on her cell phone, mildly embarrassed at the snafu.  And then she thought to herself that the call could have gone much worse.  In some places, medical exams are being conducted using wireless remote technology.

She imagined arranging the real time examination using Skype.

Joe would have been very surprised.

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