Monday Morning Musings

Posted on May 7, 2018 under Monday Morning Musings with 2 comments

“Let me tell you ‘bout the birds and the bees, and the flowers and the trees,

And the moon up above, and a thing called love.”

The Birds and The Bees (As sung by Jewel Akens)

“Hi. I’m Linda and I’m sorting dildos.”

I have had some unique introductions in my days but none quite like this one. My recent travels took me to Burlington, Ontario for a few days to visit some friends from university. We had lots of great chats, shared food, and had some walks.

At some point in our lives, we’ve all helped a friend or family member move. While moving can be onerous and stressful, getting together with friends to pack boxes can actually be a lot of fun, especially if you’re not the one on the move. Loading furniture into the back of a moving van is the easy part. But dealing with all the smaller items you have accumulated over the years is the nightmarish part.

So when I was asked by one of my friends to go to a sex toy shop to help the owner pack up her business, what was I to say? (There are so many things that I could have said but I have carefully cultivated many loyal readers over the years so I’ll stifle the urge to be too graphic.)

I have helped business owners do inventory before. Anybody can count chocolate bars, nails and screws, or widgets. We also know what these items are and how they function. But I admit with some sheepishness that there were many (most) objects in the sex toy shop that left me baffled. Oh, who am I kidding; all of the objects left me baffled. Of course, getting the job done quickly and efficiently was the objective so stopping to read labels didn’t seem appropriate although my curiosity often got the best of me. I would be staring at an object with utter disbelief wondering what it was what its function could possibly be.

There were three other people sorting and packing, all women. The owner obviously knew the products she was selling and I was glad that I wasn’t the only one who giggled and guffawed throughout the morning . ( and had a puzzled expression.)  I was interested to learn that the customer base didn’t fit into any identifiable demographic. Even though the store was technically closed, there were still lots of customers coming in to check out marked down items, looking for a last minute deal.

I can’t remember the last time that I laughed so many times in the space of three hours. I even tried on a few items of clothing. If I get 200 likes and 50 shares, I might show you one sample. No. On second thought, that is a really bad idea. My “Volunteer of the Year” award might be revoked immediately and the locks on our apartment door changed upon my return.

I know what you’re wondering. What was the most interesting thing I encountered in the store?

Actually, it wasn’t a “thing” at all. It was a person and possibly one of the most inspiring people I have ever met. Linda (in the dildo sorting department!), is an amazing woman. Three days after her wedding, her husband was in an accident and instantly became a quadriplegic. Their story is remarkable enough but the other adversities she has faced in her life left me nearly speechless, and you know how hard this is! I am hoping to do a Faces in the Crowd story about this truly remarkable person. I have already offered to do a book on her life and I hope she takes me up on the offer.

Well, there you go. I told you about my three hours in a sex toy shop without having to bare my soul or any other body part…mercifully.

In the space of a week, I’ve been to a medical marijuana dispensary and a sex toy shop. What can possibly be next?

Have a great week.

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