Monday Morning Musings

Posted on December 17, 2018 under Monday Morning Musings with 2 comments

“He sees you when you’re sleeping,

He knows when you’re awake.”

Santa Claws is Coming to Town

Many of my loyal readers are pensioners just like me which means they don’t have an inexhaustible supply of money. We manage our resources carefully and from time to time will take on a part time job so that we can enjoy a few extras. Some still buy lottery tickets hoping to win the big one and a few still go to Bingo and Chase the Ace.

It seems that every Christmas there is a toy, a doll or a game that is all the rage and a must- buy. I distinctly remember back in the 80s when Cabbage Patch Kids nearly incited riots, such was their popularity and scarcity, a clear demonstration of the laws of supply and demand. In recent years, Elf on the Shelf has reduced many an adult to tears trying to find the treasured sprite, pixie, fairy or demon (reader’s choice). Apparently if you’re lucky enough to purchase one, this little trickster will hold your youngster accountable (hostage) by reporting any transgressions to Santa in the days leading up to Christmas.

But how do we hold adults accountable in the month of December?

Fear not. I have decided to become an inventor- hoping to kill two birds with one stone: carrying out Santa’s vengeance for grownups’ bad behaviour and becoming filthy stinking rich. And where did this inspiration come from, you might be wondering? Snuggles the cat, pictured above.

Introducing Cat in the Rafters™!

Cat in the Rafters™ is the perfect gift to keep an aging loved one honest and on guard during the lead up to Christmas.

The other day, I was performing music at a seniors’ nursing home. As I was working my way through a rousing version of Feliz Navidad, I noticed a few people pointing at something. When the song was over, I looked behind me and spied one of the home’s cats perched at the very top of the kitchen cupboards evaluating my performance. And that’s when I got to thinking. A cat would make the purrfect spy. Quiet, stealthy and solitary.

Cat in the Rafters™ knows who’s naughty or nice. Maxing out your credit cards? Automatic hairball in the wallet. Swearing in long lineups on Christmas Eve? Waking up to a mouthful of prodding claws in your mouth on Christmas morning might give you pause (and paws). An improper rum to eggnog ratio is sure to result in festive glasses swiftly swiped off countertops and reduced to nutmeg-scented shards on the linoleum. Too many trips to the NSLC catnip outlet will earn you twelve hours of nonstop meowing to harsh your mellow.

Find Cat in the Rafters™ at your local department store today! Alternately, you can ignore my silly idea and adopt a cat (or dog) from a shelter. Pets are not only great for kids but make excellent companions for older people like us.

Have a great (and relaxing) week!

P.S. My book launch is tomorrow evening at 7:00 p.m. at People’s Place Library.

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