Monday Morning Musings

Posted on April 27, 2020 under Monday Morning Musings with one comment

 

 

Watercolor by Faith MacKinnon – Pleasant Bay, N.S.

 

A few updates on the Coronavirus front.

I know that you probably trust Dr.Teresa Tam and Dr.Bonnie Henry more than you trust me. That is hardly surprising, but they get to go out of their houses every day to do their press conferences so they’re probably not going shack whacky.

The longer this goes on, I am starting to notice some things going on in my apartment that are worrisome, perplexing, and often amusing.

Take for example, the porcelain cat. I know that this cat is an inanimate object, but I swear to god that it is starting to move around the room. And even worse, I am also certain that I heard the cat singing “Wasn’t That a Party” – “I saw someone under my kitchen table, talking to my old tom cat; They were talking about hockey, the cat was talking back…”

My bathroom scale is voice activated. I call it a shaming device. I have refused to get on it recently as I know it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. When I had to move my belt buckle up one hole to accommodate my expanding girth, I reckoned I better do the deed. I stepped on the scale. This sarcastic comment came up from the regions of my feet – “Only one person at a time is permitted on the scale.” The scale is now in the recycling bin. “Take that, you arsehole.”

Ok. You have watched every single Netflix movie at least once. You have watched Outlander twice, Breaking Bad 5 times and Downton Abbey 12 times.  Back in the 1960s, it was all the rage to play vinyl records (33s) backwards to see if you could uncover some hidden meaning. Once I figure out how to do this with Netflix films, I hope to do something similar. Of course, I will know the ending before the beginning but who cares. When you’re living alone during a pandemic, it hardly matters if your actions are peculiar. The only person who might notice or care is the porcelain cat.

I have noticed that my hardwood floors are starting to fade but just in one particular area. It is the runway between my armchair and the fridge. The fridge has also developed a sense of humor and starts laughing every time I come near. I keep a supply of protective masks close at hand to at least temporarily stop me from eating.

Apparently, alcohol sales are up 40% across the country. Did you say 400 %? I have done my share to keep that part of the economy functioning on all cylinders. As a matter of fact, my contribution has been so significant that I have been forced to take out my recycling under the cover of darkness for fear of embarrassment.  I never realized the weight of 15 wine bottles. I’m joking. There were only 9 in the last bag.

Maritimers are always kidding each other about “storm chips”. Yup. At the first hint of a snowflake, pandemonium ensues as people nearly cause a stampede at the grocery stores as they go to pick up the essentials of life in case the power goes out: candles, matches, and potato chips. “Corona” chips take this to an entirely different level. These babies are like storm chips on steroids. Nobody knows when we will be allowed to get outdoors more often (There are some telltale signs of confinement in this piece!). One can’t have enough corona chips in the house.

I realize that most of this post centers around food and drink. Yeah? And so what.

For years, I used to go for a long run early every morning until my body rebelled. Then I took to long distance walking until I went up north and a polar bear sighting curtailed my enthusiasm for long walks in the outdoors. Because I had to immediately quarantine upon my return to Nova Scotia, even short walks weren’t permissible.

Now that I can get out of the apartment for my morning waddle, I have to go through the door sideways.

I do hope this all ends soon. I am getting strange looks from people who see me walking a porcelain cat.

Have a great week.

P.S. The painting that accompanies this post was done by Faith MacKinnon, an 18-year-old from Pleasant Bay. I met her during my Cabot Trail walk. She is smart, talented and engaging. She is planning to go to CBU this fall to take Mineral Resource Engineering. She travels by bus 2 hours each way from her home in Pleasant Bay to her high school in Belle Cote. Her artwork is available at the Whale Interpretive Centre in Pleasant Bay.