Monday Morning Musings

Posted on November 23, 2020 under Monday Morning Musings with no comments yet

 

My Corona Tree

(Many thanks to Pete MacDonald for cutting down this exquisite Corona tree from the old growth forests near Metchosin on Vancouver Island )

 

This will surely be a Christmas unlike any other as the world deals with a second wave of Covid-19. Many of the traditions that we hold dear will be swept aside for at least one year as the pandemic rages on. But people are nothing if not resilient and creative so here’s a sneak peek at a Coronavirus Christmas.

In normal times, skeletons, ghosts and other Halloween paraphernalia have scarcely been removed from store windows (the ones still in business) before Christmas decorations festoon these same shop windows. This may take a few days longer to happen this year as employees clean and sanitize the display windows.

It doesn’t take long for Christmas music to come pouring through speakers in the stores and it’s almost impossible to tune into a radio station without hearing Jingle Bells or The Little Drummer Boy. It is charming and heartwarming to hear festive music for about five days. Then you are ready to take a drumstick (a wooden one or one from a turkey) and start laying waste to the little drummer boy. Christmas 2020 is likely to produce new classics like “I’ll Be Alone For Christmas” (to the tune of I’ll Be Home For Christmas) for those forced to self- isolate. “Everybody Was Contact Tracing” (Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting) is sure to be a hit and we will end up every concert and sing song (virtual of course) by singing “We wish you a Covid Christmas and a Happy New Year”.

Outdoor decorations are of so important to create a festive atmosphere. I can almost see it now as people place flashing hazard signs on their verandas along with signs that say “Do Not Enter”. Kind of gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling. The joy of a Covid Christmas knows no bounds.

Many people can’t wait to put up their Christmas tree. I am not one of those. I have a small artificial tree that stands about 2 feet high. If I’m ambitious, I’ll put it up a few days before Christmas. I thought that I would be home for Christmas and didn’t think to pack the tree when I came up here in August. I live above the tree line so not much chance of getting a nice balsam fir. Hey, maybe Scott MacKinnon can ship one up! This year I will have a virtual tree crafted my multi-talented son, Peter. I will use my Corona tree (see above) as the screen saver on my new 50 inch flat screen television. No star on the top of this year’s tree.

What to give for that someone special? I am told by good sources (Santa’s elves) that Covid-19 vaccine gift cards will be a popular stocking stuffer along with wipes and individual packets of hand sanitizer. Handmade masks are sure to please even the Scroogiest of people. Board games are always a crowd pleaser at Christmas. “Flattening The Curve” will undoubtedly be a big seller. You make your way around a board trying to avoid other people. No touching, kissing or hugging. Participants must wear color coded masks to avoid infecting granny.

Food is such an important part of Christmas. I can hardly wait to try Covid Chicken and Pandemic Pecan Pie. As tighter restrictions become the norm as Christmas fast approaches, family bubbles may be even smaller. Everyone might be relegated to their own bedrooms as their own private dining area. Mom or dad will just leave a plate of food at the bedroom door. Reminds me of the classic John Prine song, “Christmas in Prison”.

Many Christian churches have a midnight mass on Christmas Eve. Some of us actually remember when midnight meant midnight. Now “midnight” can be 8:00 or 9:00 p.m. During a pandemic, time seems to lose its importance. Many people have already adjusted to watching a church service online and the diminishing number of people actually attending church these days makes social distancing in a place of worship a non-issue. It certainly is not like the old days, when we were jammed into pews like sardines.

Of course, Christmas is for the younger people in our lives. Can you imagine the permanent trauma of a child experiencing their first Christmas wondering why mom and dad are wearing a mask and surgical gloves helping their child unwrap a Hasbro toy, after they have sprayed the outside of the package with disinfectant?

Of course, I am merely “toying” with you. Christmas will be just fine. It will be “tree mendous, as ever. As usual, I am trying to “mask” my enthusiasm.

There’s an old song from the 70s rattling through this old brain. Surely you remember “My Sharona” by The Knack? Let’s gather round the Christmas tree, hold hands (No. Under no circumstance are you to show any outward sign of affection) and sing “My Corona”.

Happy Holidays!

Have a great week.