Monday Morning Musings

Posted on December 27, 2021 under Monday Morning Musings with no comments yet

Covid Christmas 2

 

“It’s just another Covid Christmas,

Sure wish that I had missed it,

Cause that’s not a fun day,

Make you wanna run day,

It’s just another Covid Christmas.”

Sung to the melody of  Manic Monday

We have endured our second Covid Christmas in a row.

It sucks.

I know that that’s not the politest thing to say but I know damn well that this is exactly what many of you are thinking, if not actually saying out loud. Of course, we all made the best of it. What choice did we have? We still managed to eat and drink to excess, were able to spend some time with family, and even found a few presents under the tree. My tree is so small and my friends so few, that I used the dining table! I’m joking of course… about friends, that is. I received Christmas greetings from all over the world.

“So, Len. Please tell us what Santa delivered to the dining table, other than your usual lump of coal?”

Without fail, some kind soul usually drops off a six pack of beer. You can imagine how thrilled I was to find a 5-pack of rapid tests. It appears that this is a “must have” gift and very hard to come by unless you want to be extorted by a scumbag online seller. If you happen to run low during the holidays, stop by my apartment. I’ll only charge you $10 per testing kit!

I also received a box of 50 masks, a handful of plastic shields, and a case of hand sanitizer. The most beautiful and heartfelt gift was a framed copy of my QR code. For the man who has everything.

I was surprised to receive greetings from the Queen. Personally, I would have preferred an autographed picture of Freddy Mercury. I also received robocalls from the P.M., Drs. Bonnie Henry and Robert Strang and a shocking, surreal call from Anthony Faucci.Dr. Dr. Isaac By Gosh and I had a lovely chat about epidemiology on Messenger video. One of my most cherished gifts was a 10- year subscription to MMWR. It is an epidemiology journal with weekly reports on morbidity and mortality. Riveting stuff.

My absolute favorite gift? I was humbled to receive an autographed T-shirt from former Nova Scotia Premier Stephen MacNeil. “Stay the f..k home, Len.” Touching.

What? There’s more? Sound like an old K-tel advertisement.

I received some gifts that can only be described as unique. I received a pair of tickets to see my beloved Habs play the Leafs. Montreal has been playing so poorly and with several players in Covid protocol, that mercifully, I don’t have to travel to Montreal. I was given a special dispensation from the Chief Medical Officer allowing me to stand three feet away from my girlfriend, and touch fingertips, a whopping 50% reduction. Oops. Great idea Dr. Stranglove, but as of this writing I don’t have a girlfriend.

I have always wanted to continue my education. After all, grade three was the three most difficult years I spent in school. I just heard that St.F.X is offering a brand new Masters program. Some kind soul offered me free tuition to take the newly minted Masters in Event Planning. The course will be conducted online. (Sorry to my loyal readers who are not from Antigonish. This is very much a local story, but it did manage to spread to other parts of the country).

“Wow, Len! You scored big this Christmas. Your apartment must be a fun place to hang out with the abundance of Covid supplies.”

I will be hosting a Loser’s Ball on New Years Eve. Come one. Come all.

It’s Monday.

“Its just another manic Monday,

I wish it was Sunday,

Cause that’s my fun day,

My “I don’t have to run” day,

It’s just another manic Monday.”

Manic Monday – The Bangles

Have a great week.