Monday Morning Musings

Posted on March 16, 2015 under Monday Morning Musings with 2 comments

Even the funeral home sign is buried in snow

Last Friday, after landing on my arse for the third time this winter, it hit me like a bolt of thunder ( or a lightning strike! ). I am retiring in June and was thinking about writing full time but now I am convinced of my new calling:  weather forecasting.

I mean no respect to Kalin and Cindy but last Thursday’s forecast of a “light dusting of snow,” which dropped over a foot of the powdery stuff, left me scratching my bald head.

Why couldn’t I be a weatherman? I played “pin the tail on the donkey” as a kid and even when I put the tail on the donkey’s face, I still got treats. Even when a weather person is completely wrong, they still get to keep their jobs ( like a kid gets to keep a loot bag at the birthday party even when they couldn’t pin the tail…). If I can take a wild assed stab at a donkey’s butt, then surely I can predict the weather.

So here’s my plan. I will attend a one day course at a community college somewhere , which will arm me with the tools of the trade. I figure I can guess with the best of them. The letter of the day of the week will determine my forecast so Monday will be “Mild.” Tuesday, we can expect a “ Tornado.” Wednesday will be “Windy.“Thursday,  I will be calling for a “Tsunami.” Friday, will be “Frigid.” Saturday will be “Sunny,”  and Sunday , we’ll likely have “Sleet.”

See. It’s easy being a forecaster. Your guess ( and mine ) are as good as the experts!

Is that enough sarcasm to start your day?

And while I’m on a weather rant, this week’s Casket story which will also appear here on Wednesday, is a weather  story. It’s called “ Don’t Rain ( or Snow or Hail ) on my Parade.” We would all concur that it’s been a tough winter. The amount of ice has been incredible making it very difficult to get around. There have been shortages of salt and sand so people have had to improvise. I won’t let the cat out of the bag. Stay tuned.

Here’s a reminder of an event coming up later this week. Friday the 20^th. is the first day of spring so why don’t you grab some friends, hop in the car and come and join me at the Days Gone By Restaurant in Guysborough. We’re going to have supper around 5:00 p.m. and at 6:00 I will be reading a few stories from my new book and singing a few tunes. I will be donating a portion of book sales to GOALS ( Guysborough Options For Adaptive Living Society ). If you’re thinking of going ( the forecast looks good ), you might want to call and reserve a table at the restaurant only seats 40. Call 902-533-2762.

One of the stories I wrote on my recent road trip, “ No Fuelling Around” will be featured in an upcoming edition of the CAA ( Canadian Automobile Association ) magazine – online version.

The other day , I was handed the outline of a story from a senior citizen. She asked me if I could dress it up a bit. A bagpiper is asked to play at a committal ceremony for a homeless person. Now this doesn’t sound like it has the makings of a humour story, but , trust me, it does. Coming soon, “The Pipes Are Calling.”

Have a great week.

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