Salt of the Earth
Posted on March 1, 2014 under Storytelling with no comments yet
As the winter of our discontent grinds on, I am threatening to buy stocks in companies that manufacture salt and sand. We have been averaging about two storms a week, causing havoc and interruptions in our daily routines. There has been only one full week of school since Christmas. A present from Santa, perhaps? Businesses have been forced to close, and many important events like bingos and crib games have had to be cancelled. And, shovelling snow has become the new national pastime.
This winter has been particularly challenging for my wife, as I suffer from arthritis in my back and can’t help with the shovelling. Early on in the winter, she approached the task with vigor, possibly even enthusiasm, but lately, even she is getting annoyed with Mother Nature.
She was outside the other day, ministering to the driveway, as rain overnight had turned it into a miniature skating rink. She was applying liberal amounts of sand to protect us and our tenant from the possibility of a spill. She refuses to use salt as it might harm the flower patch, if spring ever arrives.
The sand was applied in the usual high traffic areas, but when I saw her start to sprinkle sand in an obscure part of the driveway where no person could possibly set foot, I scratched my head. “Don’t go there”, I quietly thought to myself. But being the fool that I am, I went there and received a terse reply … and “the look”.
Later in the day, on my morning walk downtown, I saw runners going by, slip sliding on the sidewalks. Despite the valiant efforts of the town’s public works crew, ice continues to be a constant enemy this winter. The crew doesn’t worry about flora and fauna and pours liberal amounts of salt on the sidewalks and roads. It would be hard to imagine surviving winter in a northern climate without salt.
Quite frankly, it would be hard to live anywhere without salt. For centuries our forefathers used salt to preserve fish and meat, before the advent of refrigeration. And what is better than a feed of salt cod … as long as you make sure you let it sit in water for several hours before cooking.
We are constantly warned about the evils of salt in our diet. Of course, these days, it seems that everything is bad for us. Despite this, I choose to sprinkle a bit on most things, even though I am routinely chastised for applying it without first seeing how much salt is already in the food I am eating. Men do so many things that are wrong in the eyes of their beloved.
And of course, there is potassium nitrate, the clinical name for saltpeter. For decades there was a rumour that injecting saltpeter into the food chain for the military would suppress male ardor during long periods of time away from their loved ones. It seems to me that the lousy military food alone would do the trick.
Despite my wife’s protestations, I will continue to champion the merits of salt. How else could I proclaim that she is the “salt of the earth”?
Recently, on Groundhog Day, it was determined that there would be twelve more weeks of winter. Now that’s what I call “throwing salt on the wound”.
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