The Office Christmas Party

Posted on December 15, 2015 under Storytelling with 2 comments

Yuletide Cheer

 

 

It’s December 1^st.  The Advent calendar emerges from the trunk and our home is warmed by our modest but cheery decorations.  Things are ramping up.  You can just feel it.

What is your favorite part of Christmas? For many, it’s decorating the house, inside and out.  For others, carefully preparing the gift list and then executing the shopping plan is top of mind.  There are those who volunteer their time and talents to providing for those less fortunate.  And many keep in mind a small child in a manger.  For communities large and small, Christmas brings all manner of people together, united in goodwill and a wish for peace at home and abroad.

And then there’s the other side of Christmas – the holiday business.  Christmas music starts early and ends abruptly. In my opinion there is too much mall music – unless it is a flash mob Hallelujah Chorus.  It is just about impossible to go anywhere without being bombarded by “The Little Drummer Boy”.  There are times that I feel like taking one of his drum sticks and giving him a good hard crack on the knuckles.  At least this is a traditional Christmas Carol – a break from Mariah Carey who, apparently, only wants me for Christmas.

And the holiday season is a time for socializing. There was a time when work Christmas parties were all the rage.  Ah, the office party.  I recently attended such an event and, while some things have stayed the same, a lot has changed.  For one thing, most office parties are now held in people’s homes.  But there was a time ….

Back in the old days, you received an invitation to an office party through the mail. If you were lucky, you received several invitations.  It was not uncommon for several of these gatherings to be held on the same day.  Downtown, at the office.  So, being the dedicated person you were and realizing that not showing up was in poor taste, you decided to go to all of them.  And your mantra was “Show up early and leave late.”

Upon entering the party venue you were met by the standard issue of appetizers: potato chips, peanuts, pretzels, Bridge Mixture, a bowl full of hard candies … and a box of “Pot of Gold” chocolates. You immediately hastened to the bar which oddly enough always seemed to be the most popular spot.  Lined up you might see a single bottle of wine and maybe a bottle of blended scotch but more often than not, the liquor table was crammed with bottles of Captain Morgan white and several litres of Coke.  The wine and scotch were there mainly as decorations.  And of course, you could expect a cooler full of Schooner, Alpine and Keith’s beer.

And just about everyone in the room was smoking.

How many-bacon wrapped scallops could you eat, after polishing off a plate full of chicken wings and half of the shrimp ring? Raw vegetables and veggie dip?  Surely you jest.  It is highly likely that after attending two office parties in one day (they served pizza at the second one), that your caloric intake (including a few “rum and cokes”) could have easily surpassed a week’s worth!

As you hobnobbed with business colleagues, the discussion centered on the successes of the past year. Back then, business was pretty straightforward and you could do well if you worked hard and looked after your customers. But there were other conversations too.  Even though you lived in a small town, you didn’t know everybody in the room and often found yourself pinned into a corner by someone to whom you’d never said two words before.  Making small talk at a Christmas party is one step above on the “awkward meter” from the stilted conversations you often encounter in the lineup at a wedding or wake.

It was not uncommon for a singsong to break out, especially if someone brought a guitar. After a perfunctory rendition of a few Christmas carols, you might end of singing every single verse of “Barrett’s Privateers” or “American Pie”.  And if things were really going downhill, you might have even been treated to “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”.  All is the spirit of the season, of course.

Kissing friends, colleagues and even perfect strangers was pretty normal. It was not unusual to be walking the Main the following day and have someone you barely recognized wink at you and give you a thumbs up.  All you could think was, “OMG, what did I do last night?”

And what is my mantra these days?  “Show up late and leave early.”  The party I attended a few days ago was wonderful.  The amount and variety of foods, snack and desserts was quite staggering.  The liquor counter was adorned with wine bottles.  I don’t think I saw a single person drinking beer and “The Captain” was nowhere in sight.  Maybe he was heading out to sea for “dumping day.”

I tried to get a singsong going (twice) but this wasn’t a singing crowd. No “American Pie” on this night. Most folks were happy to sit and chat with colleagues.  Some were middle aged but most of the attendees and significant others were of the “grey hair” variety.  While I didn’t circulate around the room all that much, I expect many of the conversations revolved around things like upcoming hip replacements, cataract surgery and Old Age Pension cheques.

I packed up my guitar and put on my coat. “What – leaving already?” quipped one of the younger crowd?  “Sorry guys.  I gotta get home and get my beauty sleep.”  No one disagreed.

Before departing, and so as not to appear to be a complete party pooper, I went over to the food table. I surveyed the four plates of cheese cakes, box upon box of Wheel pizza and a dizzying array of other food.  I grabbed two mini carrots and slipped out into the cold, snowy night through the garage.

“Oh the weather outside is frightful…” and my bed is so delightful.