Thursday Tidbits

Posted on July 22, 2021 under Thursday Tidbits with no comments yet

Shelley Carroll

From time to time, I like to share other people’s stories. My friend, Shelley (I met her once for 5 minutes!) is a writer. I loved this piece she wrote recently. I think most of us can put check marks by many of her observations about this journey we call life. Enjoy!

Contributed.

I’ve been 48 years old for the past 24 hours…and here’s what I know so far…

There’s no shame in admitting one’s age. As the saying goes, growing older is a privilege denied to many, so I don’t dare complain or deny. I’ve earned every one of these grey hairs, crow’s feet, stretch marks, and scars. I may not have them all proudly on display, but I acknowledge they are a part of me and every one tells a story. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Because here’s the thing:

You don’t get where you’re going without the occasional traffic delay, bumpy road, accident or detour. Sometimes your course gets changed up altogether. Dead ends and wrong turns can be absolutely pivotal. Factor in the pee breaks, lunch stops, time to refuel, wonky GPS, and changes in travel mates, well, let’s just say it makes for an interesting journey.

My life thus far is no exception.

It’s been an experience being me – and I hope the same can be said for those who have been along for the ride – whether for the entire route or just for certain portions of the trail.

At the ripe “old” age of 48 years – and again, it’s still new to me; I’m still trying it on for size – I have the time to reflect on where I’ve been and where I still want to go.

I remember being 16 and having “a plan”. And if I sit quietly, I can almost hear the echo of God laughing.

Oh, I had big plans.

If my dream of being a world famous author/psychologist/singer-songwriter/Catholic Church deacon didn’t quite pan out, my back-up plan included the fervent hope that I’d be independently wealthy by virtue of magic and wishful thinking.

The fact of the matter is that while I didn’t end up becoming any of those things – and thank goodness for that! – I still can’t complain about my lot in life.

Instead, and perhaps in spite of my initial plan, so many more rewarding experiences and roles have graced my life.

That’s not to say that my heart and spirit weren’t broken a few times in the process, but it has all culminated in where and who I am today.

And I’m not done yet!

I’ve been a babysitter, a fast food server, a chambermaid, an admin at a newspaper, an advertising sales rep, a correctional officer, a parole officer, a project officer, a labour relations advisor.

But more than that – I’ve been a student, a mother, a partner (er, more than once!), an ex-wife (more than once!), a daughter, a sister, a friend, a runner, a whiner, a survivor, a thinker, a feeler, a loser, an arsehole, a winner, a start-all-over-again’er, and a stock-taker.

That first group of “things I’ve been” has provided me with money to pay the bills and care for my children, the chance to meet people, learning opportunities, and a tremendous amount of growth opportunities.

The second group of “things I’ve been”, however, has been the most rewarding, traumatic, personal, validating, life-changing, and defining.

And the latter group consists of all of the things I didn’t necessarily learn in school. Even if I’d been warned ahead of time, I know in my heart of hearts and deep in my ovaries that I wouldn’t have listened anyway.

These are the lessons learned on the road.

They hurt.

But pain gives direction. And in spite of the pain I felt, I truly believe that luck (and perhaps a very battle-weary guardian angel) has always been on my side.

I have been so incredibly fortunate. Because through it all, I’m still here. I’m not the me I might have otherwise been, but I’m still me… bigger, stronger, and not as fast as before.

And for all the bumps and bruises I’ve sustained (and maybe even inflicted), I wouldn’t change a thing.

Through it all, I’ve been loved. And I cannot ask for more than that.

So because I’m curious and nosy and ready for more, I can’t WAIT to see what happens next.

I’ll continue to make my plans. But I will also have to be willing to roll with the punches, bob and weave, get knocked down, but then get up again.

I’ll keep moving forward, breathe with the diversions, take in the scenery, laugh, cry, swear, read, write, run and squint to see the sunshine.

But I’ll also bring along a snack and a note book – I don’t want to miss anything. Tomorrow is not promised. But I’ve got to admit that today is looking pretty darn alright.

So take stock, my friends. Embrace your hardships as well as your accomplishments. They all shape you.

And if I can say that, so can you.

But with an abundance of caution, of course.

I’m not in my twenties anymore, for chrissakes.

 

Shelley Carroll

2021-07-18