Till Death Do Us Part

Posted on March 23, 2013 under Storytelling with 3 comments

So, you want to get married?  If you are going to be married in the Catholic Church, a prerequisite is to take the marriage course.  There you will learn about the sacrament of marriage and the importance of bringing children into the world and raising them in the faith.  You learn about the keys to a successful marriage including frank discussions around finances.  But nowhere in the manual does it discuss the delicate matter of dealing with in-laws.  As someone once said, the only difference between in laws and outlaws is that outlaws are wanted.

Let me preface my remarks, and make it abundantly clear, that I have a wonderful extended family on both sides.  Some may be over-extended from time to time … in more ways than one!

I have personally counselled many young men as they are about to take their vow of poverty by marrying a woman who loves to shop.  When you are standing on the altar and the priest asks you if you will honor and obey, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, look your bride directly in the eyes.  Do not utter that tired refrain “I do”.  Instead, get in the habit right off the bat and say “yes dear”.  This will avoid years of misery and countless confrontations.

Mothers in-law, undeservedly, take the brunt of many cruel jabs.  Just the other day I was having lunch with a buddy of mine.  Let’s just say that his relationship with his mother in law is “somewhat strained”, which is like saying that Pope Francis is somewhat Catholic.  He and his wife were visiting her mother recently when she suddenly and unexpectedly, right out of the blue, announced that she wished to be cremated.  With a wry grin on his face my buddy looked at her and said, “Alright, get your coat”.

Inevitably young married couples will have their first major fight; something that the marriage course would have dealt with in length.  I recently heard about a couple who had a significant blowout.  The marriage course instructor had emphasized this principle; “Don’t go to bed angry with the conflict unresolved”.  Still steaming mad, the couple decided that a drive in the country might release some pressure. Nary was a word spoken until they passed a farm.  Beyond the fence was a pig sty and inside were six large sows.  With just a touch of sarcasm the man asked his wife, “Are those relatives of yours?”  Without blinking an eye came the reply; “Yes, they’re my in-laws.”

Let’s face it.  When you get married, you inherit a new family.  I have been blessed and enjoy the company of my unwieldy clan.  We continue to celebrate milestones together.  Others might call them millstones.

By and large, we are quite fortunate to live in a monogamous society.  We are all well aware of the punishment for bigamy… two mothers in-law.

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