Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom (And Whimsy)

Posted on June 8, 2022 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with one comment

 

70 years. A long time on the throne.

 

Did you watch the Queen’s platinum jubilee celebrations on the weekend?

Neither did I.

I opted for a lovely walk on the boardwalk at Pomquet Beach.

I mean no disrespect to the Queen and would like to apologize to rabid monarchists. I think the Queen is a remarkable woman. I’m sure that she must have a sense of humour and wouldn’t mind me having a teeny bit of fun at her expense. She has managed to reign over the Commonwealth for seven decades which is a remarkable achievement by any measure. One has to wonder how things will go with the royal family when her steady hand is no longer on the tiller.

Seventy years on the throne. Now that is an astonishing accomplishment. My bathroom breaks typically last less than five minutes.

I’m sorry but every time I hear the expression about the Queen being on the throne, my silly side gets the best of me.

Five minutes, you say? I am quite certain that I have mentioned this at least a half a dozen times over my many years of writing these posts. I grew up in a small house with one bathroom. I realize now that this was a luxury as many people from that era still used outhouses, replete with Sears and Roebuck catalogues. However, with 10 souls needing to use the bathroom, often at the same time, (especially on school days), time was of the essence. In order for all of us to get to school on time, we were “on the clock.” If you lingered one second beyond you allotted time in the bathroom, there would be lots of pounding on the door.

So, you guessed it. Today’s post is mostly potty talk.

Because I live alone, bathroom etiquette is not nearly as important as it once was. There was a time when not putting the toilet seat down was almost a criminal offense. I would hardly say that I entertain lavishly or frequently, but from time to time, members of the opposite sex (usually my sisters, daughters, or granddaughters) come to visit, and this is when I go on high alert. Prior to them coming, I practice putting the toilet seat down just to retrain my brain. It hasn’t happened very often in my 70 years on this earth, but those times I did forget to put the seat down and a female ended it up with her butt nearly touching the water, there was hell to pay.

I remember this lovely old couple that I once met. They had been married for 70 years and I asked them about living with someone that long. The elderly gent said that it was seventy years of him putting the toilet seat up and seventy years of his wife putting it back down. I’m surprised the marriage lasted a week. Hell hath no fury.

From time to time, I have these existential crises that I put out there for my loyal readers to weigh in on. What is the proper way to put the roll of toilet paper on the holder? Should the roll be positioned with the sheafs pointing down or should it be the reverse. I know the correct answer, but I will leave it to you to tell me what you think.

Enough potty talk but thanks to the Queen for giving me the idea for today’s post.

One more thing.

A few weeks ago, I went to see the virtual Van Gogh art experience in Halifax. Of course, I know very little about art. I am familiar with the music of Art Garfunkel and the antics of the Artful Dodger but beyond that, I’m an art neophyte. God bless Sister Mary Roderick who taught art in elementary school. I was a pro at making stick figures, yet Sister Roderick typically made a comment something like this on my report card:” Len is making progress.” I know that Roman Catholic sisters are not supposed to lie but this comment stretched the bounds of credulity. How was it possible to make a better stick man?

It’s not possible for me to describe this incredible, immersive experience. It closes on June 26^th so if you haven’t been there yet, I would encourage you to Gogh! You won’t be disappointed.

Have a great weekend.