Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom (And Whimsy)

Posted on November 13, 2024 under Wednesday’s Words of Wisdom with no comments yet

Shame faced

 

“Shame, shame, shame, hey shame on you.”

Shame, Shame, Shame – Shirley and Company

As human beings, we are prone to failure. We make errors in judgment. Sometimes these are trivial and become an afterthought. Others unleash unwanted consequences and remain with us for long periods of time. Failures are unavoidable.

A crying shame.

Halloween has come and gone for another year. I live in an apartment complex that doesn’t attract trick or treaters. Most of us are older and a “treat” is a mid afternoon nap. A “trick” is something earned in a hotly contested bridge game. The odd grandchild of a resident might stop by but those are few and far between. However, I get to experience Halloween vicariously. As a substitute teacher at a junior school, Halloween is still a very big deal especially on costume day. I dress up as an old man.

A doggone shame.

I won’t bore you with too many Halloween stories of my childhood and youth. It was not uncommon to fill two or three pillowcases full of cavity inducing candies and chocolate bars. Very often, October was the harbinger of winter, and it was not unusual to receive our first snowfall on that date.

During my first teaching stint in the Peace River country of Alberta, I lived, for one year, in a remote log cabin. The owner was an incredibly gifted German who wintered in Florida. He had built the cabin himself, and it was a marvel. He did all the work, including plumbing and electrical. He installed such things as a dumb waiter and an indoor cistern. He had light sensors affixed to a garage next door so that when you entered the property, deep in the woods, a floodlight would come on. He was a gifted woodworker and an exceptional cello player. He was truly a renaissance man.

Of course, being this far off the beaten path, I didn’t expect any trick or treaters. The day after Halloween was a school day so I headed to bed at my usual time. Around 10:00 p.m. I was awoken from a deep sleep from someone pounding on my front door. Honestly, it scared the crap out of me. I stumbled to the door and opened it. There stood four adult trick or treaters, holding empty glasses in their hands. Their intent was obvious. They wanted a drink, and I don’t mean water. They were all masked and I had no idea who they were. I invited them in, and they didn’t utter a word. I filled their glasses with rye and coke (a northern Alberta delicacy!). I played along with their ruse but when they asked for a refill, I refused unless they revealed themselves. It turned out that it was the principal and vice-principal of my school and their spouses. We had a great laugh… and another drink.

Fool me once, shame on you,

Fool me twice, shame on me.

What is shame?

“Shame is an emotion that arises after a person makes a choice that does not align with their values. They may believe they made this poor choice because something is inherently wrong with them. These negative and self-critical internal judgments can leave many feeling inadequate or unworthy of being loved.” Source unknown.

If you’ve ever been a college student, you are most likely aware of the “walk of shame”. This happens when you’ve had way too much to drink, and you end up spending the night at some unknown location with someone you met only hours earlier. The morning after, hungover and embarrassed, you slink out of the apartment, house, cabin, hotel room and start the long, embarrassing walk back to your dorm. Your head is down because you can’t lift it up. Your boots are unlaced, and your winter coat is wide open – that is, if you still have a winter coat. It is pathetic to witness and even more shameful if you happen to be wearing those unlaced boots.

Tell the truth and shame the devil.

I must come clean. Shame has overtaken me, and it is time to purge my guilt.

Halloween day was a long one. My first of many excuses. I was up at my usual time that day (around 5:15) and had spent the day at school where the energy level was off the charts. I had a few chores to do after work and missed my power snooze. Excuse number 2. I had already agreed to teach the following day. Excuse number 3. I had a few things on my mind. Excuse number 4. The sum total of these excuses was that I was in bed much earlier than usual. It was about 8:30 and I was drifting off to sleep while watching a Netflix documentary.

Forty-five years to the day, I was awoken from my reverie with a knock on my door and the ringing of my doorbell. It didn’t register at first and I thought nothing of it. The knocking and ringing persisted but in my delicate state of fatigue, a herd of Clydesdales wasn’t going to get me out of bed.

Someone was very determined to get my attention. I succumbed and staggered to the door. There was no one there. Just as I was about to close the door, I caught my neighbour out of the corner of my eye as she made her way up the stairs to her apartment.

“Len. Would you like to join a few of us for a glass of wine to celebrate Halloween?” This sounded about as appealing to me as taking a laxative. I begged off citing my litany of excuses. See 1-4 above. She was a good sport about it.

Relief washed over me as I crawled back into bed.

And then I was struck by an overwhelming sense of shame.

You see, the woman who invited me was 90 and her wine drinking guest was 96.

That is what you call being put to shame.

Have a great weekend.