What Goes On in the Barber Shop

Posted on May 6, 2013 under Storytelling with 11 comments

Getting a haircut these days is a lesson in humility.  As well, from a purely financial view, it is one of the worst “value for money” propositions I can think of … for me, that is.  You see, in my youth, I had ample hair but the afro pic has long been retired.  Hair brush manufacturers have one less customer.  However, a monthly trip to the barbershop is a staple which I am not apt to give up anytime soon even if I end up just going for a shine.  You see, a barber shop or hair salon happens to be the news hub of most small towns.

Privacy, secrecy and confidentiality are the hallmarks of most businesses.  The recent papal conclave epitomized discretion.  I am not here to suggest that barbers or hair stylists are any less professional than anyone else, but you won’t have to wait for white smoke at the barber shop to find out about the most recent scandal.

I am a long distance runner and over the past eight years I have spent thousands of hours pounding the pavement with my long-suffering running partner, Charlene.  When you spend that much time with one person, the stories come out.  Growing up, our two large Catholic families totalled 26 bodies.  It didn’t take us too many runs to figure out that not only were our families odd and dysfunctional but that this was the norm for most, if not all, families.  We trust each other with many secrets and our mantra has become “what goes on on the road, stays on the road”.

Normally, I get my trim early in the morning.  I am usually the only customer in the barbershop at this time of the day so the banter is free and easy.  But as the day wears on and the pace picks up, it is not unusual to see all four chairs going at once and the waiting area full.  It is at these times that the owner should post a hazard sign: “Speak at your own peril”.

As we all know, you hear lots of gossip in a barber shop or hair salon.  If you want to keep something private, this would probably be the last place on earth that you would utter anything that was meant to be kept in confidence.  This is not to be taken as a slight to barbers and hair dressers.  They just happen to be in the line of fire.  With clippers buzzing and hairdryers humming, you need to speak loudly to be heard.  This means that your story becomes everyone’s story.

At one point or another in our lives, we have said something that we regretted.  For some couples it starts with “I do”.  We have sent an e-mail and the moment we hit the send button, we sorely wished we hadn’t.  It is just human nature.  These things usually happen in the heat of battle and you just have to live with the consequences.  But it is a whole different matter when you have said nothing and find yourself in a compromising position.

In our part of the world, the bag limit for deer is one.  Last fall, during the height of the deer season, a hunter was having his haircut.  He was accompanied to the barber shop by his verbose eight year old son who sat impatiently in a packed barber shop.  The barber, an avid hunter himself, innocently asked his customer’s son if his father had gotten a deer yet.  “Oh yes”, came the quick reply. “He got two so far”.

Every head in the shop swivelled in the direction of the little boy, for seated beside him was the game warden.

Instinctively, all four barbers revved up the clippers, hair dryers – anything to cut the tension and fill in the dead air permeating the room.  This was followed by rather large grins and the odd guffaw.  Out of the mouths of babes…..

What goes on in the barber shop … does not stay in the barber shop.

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