Where There’s a Will

Posted on March 27, 2013 under Storytelling with 2 comments

What will you leave your children and grandchildren when you have “slipped the surly bonds of earth”? From time to time, my wife and I review our estate documents to make sure that we have our affairs in order.  In terms of “fun factor”, it rates right up there with crack filling or working with insulation.  The only thing tougher than preparing a will is the fallout from not preparing a will.  And, if an inheritance is part of your retirement plan, as it seems to be for many, then be very careful what you say.

We talk openly about all the things that can go wrong, from death, to physical incapacity, to mental incompetence.   A health care directive and power of attorney are important documents if you become infirmed.   We were discussing this recently at the kitchen table while reading the Saturday paper.   I gave my wife a wish list in the event that I became incapable of communicating.  I asked her to prop me up in my favorite chair, turn on TSN, and bring me a piece of coconut cream pie, perhaps a slice of Wheel pizza and something to drink.  She briefly paused as her eyes peered over the Business section of the paper and said, “You are already incapable of communicating.  How will I notice the difference?”

I dismissed this “shot across the bow” and moved on to one other major worry. “Will you look after me if I become incontinent?”  “Depends”, she said.

Many people use life insurance as a tool for either preserving their estate or creating one.  Be very wary if your children all of a sudden suggest that they pay your life insurance premiums for you.   Also keep a close eye on the air pressure in your tires.

A recent story that I penned referenced the possible untimely demise of my mother in law; surely a misunderstanding and tragedy of epic proportions should that fateful day come.  For some reason she seemed to think that my commentary put her and her ilk in a somewhat unflattering light.  In a tersely worded e-mail she threatened to cut me out of her will.  And then she did something far worse.  She threatened to come over to the house and model her bathing suit collection. From this point forward, no more mother in law jokes.

A wealthy man devised an interesting estate strategy to motivate his lazy, unemployed son.  His will stated that the son would receive an annual payment equal to twice his reported employment income in any given year.  We do hope the kid studied math because two times zero is still zero.

So what will we leave behind to our children and grandchildren, besides a lifetime of memories?  Will there be untold riches, real estate holdings, stocks and bonds, jewelry or antiques?  Will they be able to stop working, put their feet up and live in the lap of luxury?  We think not.  At best they will inherit eczema and bad teeth.  And if everything stays the same, they may get a twenty year old Yaris and a senile cat.

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